Something next to normal, that's the thing I'd like to try

Y'all, Chelsea has become an activist. She staged a hunger strike until I gave in to her demands and bought her Friskies. If she'd had opposable thumbs, I have no doubt I'd have come home one day to find her marching with a sign that said "Friskies or bust!"

Let me back up. When we went to the vet in January, she was 11.6 lbs, which is not terrible for a cat, but she'd been gaining about half a pound every year for a couple years now, and since she is getting up there in years (she's 11 now!) the vet mentioned that we'd have to be more careful about diabetes. And let me tell you, Chelsea is the WORST at taking medicine, so there is NO WAY I am giving that damn cat insulin.  

So, since I can't afford a kitty-sized treadmill, we went with the next best thing: a diet. I typically just feed her once a day, eyeballing the amount, and let her eat what she wants, but I started measuring it out on the vet's recommendation. At first, she was gobbling it up and licking the bowl clean and meowing for more, but after a while it seemed like she adjusted.

Then I noticed she was eating less and less, but I didn't really worry until she stopped eating almost completely, and she was down to 8.5 lbs. (My mother asked how I knew this. Obviously, I weighed myself, picked her up, got back on the scale, and subtracted, lol.) I wondered if it was a medical issue, but she seemed completely fine otherwise. And she clearly had an appetite, because she'd eat kitty treats and any people food she could get her little paws on. It occurred to me that maybe she was having trouble eating the hard kibble, since she did have those teeth problems a couple years ago. She's never really liked the canned food, but she'd eat it if she was starving. 

Before I tried that, though, I bought a bag of Friskies. I know she likes them, because that's what she eats at my parents' house (it's basically the cat equivalent of grandparents feeding the kids sugar when they babysit), so if she didn't eat that, either, I'd know there was a problem. And lo and behold, Chelsea is eating again. Turns out, there was nothing wrong with her. She just wanted Friskies.

I've been trying to buy her the healthier, grain-free varieties of cat food for a few years now, but I don't always get the same brand. And apparently whatever I've been buying the last few times I went to the store, she was NOT happy with, so she'd just decided to stop eating until I bought the damn Friskies. Feline Gandhi is quite pleased with herself now. I cannot wait to tell the vet.

I know people tend to post updates "so you know I'm still alive lol" and don't really mean it seriously, but in my case, I feel like the concern might actually be warranted?

To wit: I have vomited ELEVEN TIMES since the last time I posted. 

I joked on Twitter that my digestive system decided not to go to work on International Women's Day, so I wasn't going to, either. But really, I would prefer if we were both working, so get your shit together, you stupid colon.

I dropped out of the clinical trial, and thus upon exit racked up my ninth colonoscopy, the verdict of which was that some parts of my colon looked a little better, but the terminal ileum is still too swollen to get a scope through - which, incidentally, means it's also hard to get FOOD through, hence all the vomiting.

I started the latest new drug, Stelara, which is supposed to mumbledy mumbledy something and make me better. Who knows how it works. Or if it works. A lot of those vomits were this week (AFTER I started the Stelara). But it could take 8-12 weeks before I see any improvement, so. If this one doesn't work, it is probably surgery time, about which I have mixed feelings.

I am going home this weekend to pet-sit the Bad Cat (and the eleventy other cats) while my parents are on vacation. Chelsea is not coming, alas, so that ship remains on hold, but I trust they will become the Buffy/Spike of the feline world, they're just still in season 2. 

Sidebar: HOW IS BUFFY 20 YEARS OLD? I FEEL SO OLD NOW, AND I ONLY DISCOVERED THE SHOW IN 2006.

Things I cooked that I did not later throw up:

Scallops Provencal - I only used half a pound of scallops, but didn't halve the sauce, because then I poured it over angel hair pasta and it was delicious. All of my scallop recipes are basically the same, but whatevs. I like scallops. I like pasta. I like garlicky, shalloty white wine sauces. WHERE IS THE WRONG?

Lemony Asparagus Risotto - So, when I was in the grocery store, I was like, "I need 5 cups of chicken broth. Should I buy one container that's 6 cups, or two containers of 4 cups?" Turned out they were the same price, so I went with two containers of 4. Good thing, because this recipe actually required EIGHT cups of broth before the rice was really cooked and softened enough. Other than that, it was pretty good, which is handy, since I have a lot of leftovers and am now pretty much exclusively eating rice and toast. (See above re: vomit.)

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Hi y'all. Still alive over here. Sometimes I feel like maybe it's time to close the figurative doors on this place, since all I seem to do is use it to reassure people that I remain among the living, and to detail my body's ongoing efforts to the contrary. Mostly, I wish I had more to SAY, but I just don't have the energy to, like, think about things, lol. Which sounds lame and stupid, because it seems like dealing with physical pain shouldn't impact my ability to review television shows or make icons or whatever else I used to do, but... it does. 

I'm still doing about the same - lots of pain, lots of Percocet, no progress on the Entyvio. I'm starting another new clinical trial, but have to taper off the Prednisone first (which I am happy to do, goodbye hairy moon-face!) so it'll be about a month before I get the new drug. At least it's open label, so I know for sure I'm getting real medicine and not placebo.

Anyway. It also seems ridiculous to post holiday pictures now that it's MID-JANUARY, but whatever, here's Chelsea wearing a fancy bow for Christmas:

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I meant to do the end of the year meme, if only to help myself keep track of all the TV I watched, but... meh. I also contemplated doing the hair meme that was going around, but then I remembered I'm allergic to selfies and so I don't actually have any good photos of my hair to post. Not that my hair is really interesting enough for a meme, anyway.

Uh, bad news for some of you: I FINALLY got around to watching Mad Max: Fury Road, and I found it pretty meh? Like, it was fine as an action movie, but I don't get all the wild love for it? I can see why the prominence of female characters in this kind of movie would make a lot of people excited, but, like, is that it? It seemed like there was a ton of backstory that was just... not explained (like why any of this was happening, lol) and it kind of surprised me that people who, on the whole, tend to place a high priority on STORY loved it so much when it's basically 2 hours of non-stop action with the barest minimum of plot to justify it. Maybe it's just not my genre, or I had too high expectations because it seemed like the entire internet flipped their shit over it. (I will say this: flaming guitar guy was as hilariously weird and fantastic as I'd been led to believe.) So, tell me what I'm missing, Internet!

I watched MM:FR as part of my Oscar movie challenge - my friends and I are attempting to see all the Best Picture nominees. So far, I've seen 3, the other two being Spotlight and The Martian. I LOOOOVED The Martian. It probably shouldn't have been in the Comedy category for the Golden Globes, but it WAS pretty hilarious, and Matt Damon is fantastic. We as a society really ought to stop leaving him in dangerous places, though. It's costing an awful lot in money, effort, and lives to keep retrieving him.

Remember when I took Chelsea to the vet and they told me she needed dental work? Well, a week or so after that, one of her teeth fell out, so I went ahead and scheduled the darn thing, which was yesterday. And all the dental stuff went as expected, but the vet ALSO was like, "Oh, by the way, Chelsea has fleas and a tapeworm."

AAARRRRGGGGHHHH

My immediate thought was to blame my parents and the literal COLONY of stray cats they are feeding - seriously, there are like NINE of them now - since I took Chelsea home with me for Thanksgiving. I mean, she's NEVER had fleas before, she didn't have fleas in the beginning of November when she went to the vet the first time, and now, conveniently, after a trip home, she does? She didn't directly interact with the stray cats, but a couple of them will let my mom pet them, and they'll rub against her leg and will come inside, even if they don't come in further than the welcome mat at the door. That's still enough to bring fleas into the house where they could've jumped on Chelsea. 

So they treated her with Capstar while she was at the vet and also gave her something for the tapeworm, and I spent all friggin' day today washing and vacuuming everything in my apartment. 

But then I started thinking? And I'm starting to wonder, like, did they possibly MIX UP THE CATS or something, because Chelsea does not seem to have fleas! I know "indoor cat flea denial" is a whole thing, but stick with me here...

For one thing, from reading online, it seems like when your pet has fleas, it's fairly noticeable? But there's been NOTHING to suggest it here. If I hadn't taken Chelsea to the vet, I would NEVER have guessed she had fleas. She hadn't been scratching, and I wasn't specifically looking for fleas or flea dirt, but I didn't notice anything on her, nor had I seen any bugs in the apartment that might've been fleas or any evidence of them, like flea dirt on the blankets where she spends a lot of time. (Granted, she is a mostly black cat, which makes it harder to spot, but my comforter is white, her favorite blanket is pale blue, and my sofa is beige, so you'd think I'd spot something there, right?)

Anyway, if that were it, I'd probably accept it. Maybe she just didn't have the fleas long enough for it to be noticeable. If she DID get them from the strays at Thanksgiving, it would've been less than a week. But then there's also what the vet said to me. He called me three times on Friday - the first during the procedure, because I asked them to call before they extracted any teeth. We discussed the dental stuff, and not a word about the fleas. I suppose it's possible at that point they hadn't spotted them yet?

The vet called me a second time after the procedure was over to let me know how everything went. Again, all talk about the dental. THEN he called a third time to be like, "Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention she has fleas." Unfortunately, at that point I'd stepped away from my desk, so he left a voice mail, otherwise I might've thought of these questions sooner. 

But in the voice mail, he said they noticed flea dirt on her, then saw a live flea. Later, when I picked her up, the vet tech told me that after they gave her Capstar, they combed dead fleas off her. I really wish I had thought to ask HOW MANY fleas they combed off. I don't need an exact number or anything, but like, is this a mild case, or were there a lot? The vet tech kind of made it sound like there were a lot, which doesn't really fit with my not noticing ANYTHING, so it would be another sign to me that they were looking at a different cat, lol.

The vet also said in the voice mail that they apparently diagnosed the tapeworm based on a fecal test, and THAT'S the part where I get really skeptical. Because they never charged me for a fecal test. There's no reason for them to have done a fecal test for a dental procedure. I suppose it's possible she just happened to poop while she was there, and maybe if she happened to poop after they found the fleas, they decided to check for tapeworms, but I'm SURE they wouldn't test it for free. 

Anyway, after a pretty thorough cleaning of the house, I STILL didn't find any evidence of fleas (neither did my parents, btw). And now I'm starting to wonder, like, are we sure it was Chelsea they found the fleas on, and not some other cat who was in for a procedure, and maybe they got the records mixed up? The afterthought phone call, the mystery fecal test... I don't know, it just seems bizarre, especially combined with zero sign of fleas. Or am I just in denial?

They did say that she'll poop out the tapeworm, so I guess I'll see it if she really had one? Otherwise, the only thing to do is wait and see if I didn't clean thoroughly enough and some fleas actually show up. 

(I should note that I am also somewhat sensitive to vet mix-ups, given that once my mother took Patches to the vet, and when she went to pick her up, they tried to give her THE WRONG CAT, and my mom looked in the carrier and was like, "UM THAT IS NOT PATCHES."  So we were actually joking about "make sure you check that it's really Chelsea before you leave!" Plus, the first time the vet called me, he was mixed-up enough that he thought MY NAME was Chelsea, not the cat, so...)

So what do you think, people who have experience with cats? Which is more likely? Is it possible for a cat to have enough fleas that it's noticeable to a vet who is looking at her for a completely different medical issue, but I as the cat's owner didn't notice a thing, and still can't find anything even when specifically looking for fleas? If I can't find any evidence whatsoever of fleas, does that mean we're clean, or should I be anticipating an outbreak in a few weeks or months or whatever?

1. Is it problematic that my diet now consists almost exclusively of grilled cheese? I do occasionally eat other things (eggs, for example, which seems to be the only food left I have not at some point vomited back up), but I had TWO - count 'em - TWO grilled cheeses today. Not for lack of trying - I made an attempt at broth at lunchtime and chicken for dinner, but couldn't manage more than a few bites of either.

Something about that combination of buttered bread and cheese - which they tell you not to eat when you have an upset stomach! No dairy is one of the main things they tell you! But this is not your normal nausea, apparently - manages to satisfy my stomach's desire for solid food, because the nausea kicks into overdrive on an empty stomach, while also not being substantive enough to cause too much abdominal pain as I digest, while ALSO apparently being bland enough not to upset the delicate balance in there but not SO bland that the mere thought of choking it down makes me want to hurl (like the chicken, pasta, rice, crackers, toast, and every other goddamned starch on the planet). 

2. Why don't they just sell ginger ale already flat? I'm sure there are a few people out there who actually like drinking it (my mother is one of them), but it's also sort of universally accepted as "the thing you drink when you have an upset stomach" but for that it's supposed to be FLAT, so why not just sell a non-carbonated version? It'd probably be a big seller! Because it is a pain in the ass to have to sit there and stir out the damn bubbles. When I want my ginger ale, I want it NOW. I've actually taken to pouring out glasses and just letting it sit, so that by the time I'm ready to drink one, it's already flat. 

3. Is sympathy puking a thing in cats? Chelsea chokes up the occasional hairball just like anyone else, but she's vomited twice during the last couple weeks I've been sick. I know that seeing (or worse, SMELLING) someone throwing up can cause an upchuck reflex in people, but CATS?

(Actually, I think I know the answer to this one. I think it's just that she eats too fast. Because occasionally I'd forget to feed her so she'd be really hungry? And by "forget" I mean "lay down to take a nap, totally meaning to get up again before I go to bed, but I was on that crazy knock-out medicine so six hours later the nap turns into just going to bed" and I'd feed her the next morning.)

Chelsea got outfits for Christmas! Or, I am the meanest cat mother ever...

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Guess that means I have to finish my Christmas shopping after all.

I am at my parents' house, and since I have a crazy ELEVEN days off this year, I brought a special guest with me. Chelsea (who is currently hiding under the covers on my bed) gets to come home with me and hopefully she and Patches (my parents' cat) will not kill each other. We won't try to introduce them for another few days, at least (they've met before, but it was a few years ago and didn't go well).

Pre-Christmas linkspam:

* The writing's been on the wall for a while, but Leverage has officially been canceled. I suppose it's good, in a way, since this season has very much had the feel of a final season, and the season finale episode (which airs Christmas Day) was written as a series finale "just in case." Here's hoping Aldis Hodge, Christian Kane, and Beth Riesgraf find other work soon. I will miss those crazy kids.

* And yet, HIMYM goes on and on, now extended for a ninth season. DAMMIT JASON SEGEL. I was depending on him to stop this madness, but apparently he caved.

* Another Les MIserables clip, this time the full version of "At the End of the Day." Definitely better than "One Day More," but this discussion of 10 reasons the movie misses the mark is starting to look more and more accurate.

* Ben Affleck for Senate? This is apparently an actual possibility.

* Community's holiday sneak peek involves ADORABLE KITTENS.

If I don't make it back online before Christmas, hope everyone has a lovely holiday!

From the "things that need to be in my life" file: CAT TARDIS.

In other news, why is it not Friday yet? It's felt like Friday all day...

Last picspam of the condo renovations! The next time you see my place, I will be living in it!

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1. My cat has a habit of leaving cat toys in my shoes. These often tend to be little pom poms that can get stuck in the toe and so I don't notice them until I am already at work. I choose to think of it as a sign of affection, like when you were a kid and your mom used to pack your lunch and sometimes she'd leave a little note in there so you wouldn't see it until lunchtime? It's like that. Except fuzzier.

2. When my cat is high on catnip, she gets this wide-eyed manic look, which kind of reminds me of Damon's crazy eyes? I don't know what to make of that.

3. Question: For quite a while, actually, my iTunes has been doing this thing where it cuts off a song before the end. Sometimes it's a few minutes in, other times it's just a few seconds. The display still shows the full time length for the track, but partway through it just skips to the next song. At first I tried replacing each song, thinking maybe the file was corrupted, but that is getting both annoying and expensive since I have to keep buying songs I already bought from iTunes. Plus, it keeps happening to new songs. The same thing happens on my iPod. There seems to be no pattern to which songs it happens to, either, just totally random. Has anyone had this happen to them, and do you have any idea how to fix it?

4. Linkspam!

* No full season of Doctor Who next year. :( Apparently they are saving it for 2013, which is the 50th anniversary year?

* Trailers for Damages season 4. I... actually forgot this show hadn't been canceled.

* Leslie Knope is writing a book.

* I always knew that SPF 90 sunscreen was a scam!