[syndicated profile] cleolinda_tumblr_feed

Anyway I lived (this was never in doubt) although I feel slightly feverish (normal for a couple days afterwards) (recap: steroid epidural for a herniated disc). I did find out why the anesthesia fucked me up last time and prevented me from forming memories the day AFTERWARDS: they gave me ketamine for some reason. Three absolutely ideal, sufficient procedures, and on #4, they gave me the Elon Special. No sir. No ma'am. If ketamine works for you that’s wonderful but based on lived experience I Do Not Care For It and so we went back to the combination they gave me before. And so I was groggy yesterday but pretty clear-headed by late evening, and I have not had to watch my short-term memory of five minutes ago evaporate in real time. I triumph once again (that is the steroid talking).

[syndicated profile] cleolinda_tumblr_feed

mctreeleth:

mctreeleth:

I keep seeing the leather/pleather vs denim jacket poll over and over again with all different sorts of discourse about how there is no plastic-free pleather and like, that’s TRUE, there isn’t, but honestly I DO think people who don’t want to use animal products* also deserve to look cool

and so my suggestion is that y'all google “waxed cotton jacket” or “waxed canvas jacket” plus like, “motorcycle” or whatever style you think is cool, because there’s a plastic free leather-look material that is strong and durable and waterproof and doesn’t use animal products** AND is plastic free already out there and some of the clothes that you can get made out of it look sick as hell.

*ignoring the fact that most leather is meat by-product that would be going to waste anyway

**except beeswax but if you’re going to object to that then honestly there’s no helping you

waxed cotton looks so good and wears-in to a gorgeous patina and when it loses its finish you can re-wax it and that just makes it look even better and more patinaed instead of flaking off in horrible bits of microplastic leaving you with a ruined piece of clothing

[syndicated profile] cleolinda_tumblr_feed

teaboot:

teaboot:

teaboot:

I don’t believe tsw*ft is a revolutionary or even interesting artist but she *is* the only artist who has her own folder on my phone dedicated to lyrics that make me incandescent with rage so from a perverse conceptual perspective I guess something is working

Taylor Swift lyrics that make me irrationally angry1. “I’m so depressed I act like it’s my birthday… every day.”2. “You're talking shit for the hell of it / Addicted to betrayal, but you're relevant.”3. “Karma's a relaxing thought, aren't you envious that for you it's not”4. “Spider-boy, king of thieves, weave your little webs of opacity, my pennies made your crown”5. “The role you made me play, of the fool”6. “I feel like jumping… off of very tall somethings”7. “If she has blue eyes I will surmise that you'll probably date her”8. “When you lost control, red blood white snow. Blue dress on a boat, your new girl is my clone”ALT

Misophonia queen

continued

9. Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby, and I’m a monster on the hill”10. “The blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet it was maroon”11. “Baby love, I think I've been a little too kind, didn't notice you walking all over my peace of mind, in the shoes I gave you as a present”12. “Don't put me in the basement when I want the penthouse of your heart”13. “Sapphire tears on my face, sadness became my whole sky. But some guy said my aura's moonstone, just 'cause he was high”14. “The way you move is like a full on rainstorm, and I'm a house of cards”15. “You touch me once and it's really something”16. “Sit quiet by my side in the shade, and not the kind that's thrown, I mean the kind under where a tree has grown”17. “I wanna transport you to somewhere the culture's clever”ALT
[syndicated profile] cleolinda_tumblr_feed

by-ilmater:

what you see: haha funney dating sim where you can fuck the furniture!

what you get: loving explorations of things like adhd, alcoholism, ocd, chronic illness, body dysmorphia, toxic relationships, the evils of capitalism and ai. brennan lee mulligan is there

[syndicated profile] cleolinda_tumblr_feed

homunculus-argument:

For the longest time I opted on the side of “no coffee, potatoes, etc” in fantasy writing, on the argument that if I was writing a pseudo-european medieval story, featuring elements brought to Europe by colonialism would imply the existence of colonialism, and if I was going to include that kind of elements, I could not just mention them casually, it would have to be a major theme of the story.

Then I scrolled past a post on tumblr specifically about “can you have potatoes in a fantasy setting for no reason” that had pics of Peruvian potato farmers and asked “are you really too much of a coward to not write these people into your stories?” (the tone was probably not that accusative, I paraphrase from my own perspective of this), and something clicked in my head, and this epiphany manifested in my head as Gordon Ramsay yelling

“IT WAS NOT THE FUCKING COLONIALISM THAT INVENTED THE FUCKING POTATO.”

burnhername: Faith pic with the word editor (SH editor Faith)
[personal profile] burnhername posting in [community profile] su_herald
ANYA: Oh, crap. (slaps down her cards) Look at this! Now I'm burdened with a husband and several tiny pink children, more cash than I can reasonably manage...
XANDER: That means you're winning.
ANYA: Really?
XANDER: Yes. Cash equals good.
ANYA: Ooh! (claps her hands in excitement) I'm so pleased. (Scoops up the plastic markers that represent children) Can I trade in the children for more cash?

~~Real Me~~




[Drabbles & Short Fiction]


[Chaptered Fiction]


[Images, Audio & Video]


[Reviews & Recaps]


[Recs & In Search Of]


[Community Announcements]


[Fandom Discussions]


[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]


Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

Join the editor team :)

(no subject)

Jun. 25th, 2025 08:25 pm
skygiants: Sheska from Fullmetal Alchemist with her head on a pile of books (ded from book)
[personal profile] skygiants
I was traveling again for much of last week which meant, again, it was time to work through an emergency paperback to see if it was discardable. And, indeed, it was! And you would think that reading and discarding one bad book on my travels, dayenu, would have been enough -- but then my friend brought me to books4free, where I could not resist the temptation to pick up another emergency gothic. And, lo and behold, this book turned out to be even worse, and was discarded before the trip was out!

The two books were not even much alike, but I'm going to write them up together anyway because a.) I read them in such proximity and b.) though I did not like either of them, neither quite reached the over-the-top delights of joyous badness that would demand a solo post.

The first -- and this one I'd been hanging onto for some years after finding it in a used bookstore in San Francisco -- was Esbae: A Winter's Tale (published 1981), a college-campus urban fantasy in which (as the Wikipedia summary succinctly says) a college student named Chuck summons Asmodeus to help him pass his exams. However, Chuck is an Asshole Popular Boy who Hates Books and is Afraid of the Library, so he enlists a Clumsy, Intellectual, Unconventional Classmate with Unfashionable Long Red Locks named Sophie to help him with his project. Sophie is, of course, the heroine of the book, and Moreover!! she is chosen by the titular Esbae, a shapechanging magical creature who's been kicked out into the human realm to act as a magical servant until and unless he helps with the performance of a Great and Heroic Deed, to be his potentially heroic master.

Unfortunately after this happens Sophie doesn't actually do very much. The rest of the plot involves Chuck incompetently stalking Sophie to attempt to sacrifice her to Asmodeus, which Sophie barely notices because she's busy cheerfully entering into an affair with the history professor who taught them about Asmodeus to begin with.

In fact only thing of note that nerdy, clumsy Sophie really accomplishes during this section is to fly into a rage with Esbae when she finds out that Esbae has been secretly following her to protect her from Chuck and beat her unprotesting magical creature of pure goodness up?? to which is layered on the extra unfortunate layer that Esbae often takes the form of a small brown-skinned child that Sophie saw playing the Heroine's Clever Moorish Servant in an opera one time??? Sophie, who is justifiably horrified with herself about this, talks it over with her history professor and they decide that with great mastery comes great responsibility and that Sophie has to be a Good Master. Obviously this does not mean not having a magical servant who is completely within your power and obeys your every command, but probably does mean not taking advantage of the situation to beat the servant up even if you're really mad. And we all move on! Much to unpack there, none of which ever will be.

Anyway. Occult shenanigans happen at a big campus party, Esbae Accomplishes A Heroic Deed, Sophie and her history professor live happily ever after. It's 1981. This book was nominated for a Locus Award, which certainly does put things in perspective.

The second book, the free bookstore pickup, was Ronald Scott Thorn's The Twin Serpents (1965) which begins with a brilliant plastic surgeon! tragically dead! with a tragically dead wife!! FOLLOWED BY: the discovery of a mysterious stranger on a Greek island who claims to know nothing about the brilliant plastic surgeon ....

stop! rewind! You might be wondering how we got here! Well, the brilliant plastic surgeon (mid-forties) had a Cold and Shallow but Terribly Beautiful twenty-three-year-old aristocratic wife, and she had a twin brother who was not only a corrupt and debauched and spendthrift aristocrat AND not only psychologically twisted as a result of his physical disability (leg problems) BUT of course mildly incestuous with his twin sister as well and PROBABLY the cause of her inexplicable, unnatural distaste for the idea of having children. I trust this gives you a sense of the vibe.

However, honestly the biggest disappointment is that for a book that contains incestuous twins, face-changing surgery [self-performed!!], secret identities, secret abortions, a secret disease of the hands, last-minute live-saving operations and semi-accidental murder, it's ... kind of boring ..... a solid 60% of the book is the brilliant plastic surgeon and his wife having the same unpleasant marital disputes in which the book clearly wants me to be on his side and I am really emphatically absolutely not. spoilers )

Both these books have now been released back into the wild; I hope they find their way to someone who appreciates them. I did also read a couple of good books on my trip but those will, eventually, get their own post.
[syndicated profile] cleolinda_tumblr_feed

followthebluebell:

ahh the grrito, a close cousin of the purrito. Only much angrier.

She got a bath to try and soothe her skin a bit. I think she’s got a food allergy, so she’s also being switched to a chicken free diet for a few weeks to see if her skin improves.

[syndicated profile] cleolinda_tumblr_feed

What’s happening is, every three months I get a steroid injection to my fucking spine to reduce back pain from my new, second herniated disc. (I had surgery eight years ago for the first one.) I walk in, and I walk–well, I don’t walk out because I’m still groggy from anesthesia at that point, but I do get home and walk from the car to the house. It’s a minor procedure; I just have to take it easy through the weekend, but if I’m good by Monday, no fever, it’s fine.

And the point is to ease the pain enough for me to do physical therapy exercises either at a clinic or, in the longterm, on my own. It’s not a lifelong solution. (Steroids: not great for you in the longterm! After a year of these, I’m somewhat irritable and incredibly dehydrated!) I would really like my September block to be my last, or the December one at the outside–which will depend on me doing PT exercises at home.

The month of sessions I just had really, really decreased the pain, to the point where I had several mornings afterwards at zero. Without so much as a Tylenol. That was wild. I hadn’t experienced zero pain in like ten years. (I did have chronic fatigue flares.) But then, I sit down at the computer to work, and I have increased pain. So this is all really going to depend on me doing my exercises (slowly, throughout the day to minimize fatigue) and strengthening my back and responding to strain.

I don’t know if I can get to independence from the steroids (remember: I’m still in pain on top of the “pain blocks”) by late September, but maybe I can get there in six months. That’ll be my 47th birthday; maybe that can be a gift to myself. And if I can’t get there, that’s okay. I can keep working and maybe get there nine months from now. A year from now. However long it takes. It’s a goal that will have to expand to meet my needs, because I can’t just girlboss my way through this; there’s no “you should have, but you didn’t push hard enough.” There’s “your body was able to do this,” or “your body couldn’t do this yet, but you did your best to rest and take care of it for the long haul.”

My surgeon told me, “You will always be a person who has had spinal surgery.” I’ve told both my therapists that I needed them to teach me how to live the rest of my life. I’m aware that this isn’t something that’s going to end. But that’s my goal for improving the situation in the way that I can.

[syndicated profile] cleolinda_tumblr_feed

idoherty451:

idoherty451:

IMPORTANT STREAM UPDATES!

THIS WEDNESDAY (6/25), 7PM EDT on twitch.tv/idoherty451: I’ll be completing Toluca Prison and digging into the rest of the haunting stories that transpired there. But before that, I’ll be kicking off the stream with another GUEST:

My good friend Vic, an English teacher, Creative Writing MFA, and recurring guest/fill-in co-host on A Matter of Taste Podcast, will be joining me to discuss Silent Hill 2’s narrative and the overall game mechanics! I’ve also been lending Vic my copies of Silent Hill games for the past several years, slowly indoctrinating him into this obsession I’ve had since I was a teenager. It’s a healthy relationship.

Tune in on Wednesday for all of this!

Another important update:

I’ve been talking about it for the past month or two, and I’m finally doing it: I’m taking a break from streaming for the month of July. Life has gotten busy, but primarily, I’m in the midst of trying to find a new job after a mass layoff at work, so I want to give myself some time to get that all figured out. (If anyone has any leads on remote jobs/work in quality assurance/auditing, writing/editing/publishing, or music production, throw me a message!)

If you want to catch up on previous streams, check out the YouTube playlist for my entire commentary thus far. MAJOR SPOILERS ABOUND!

@cleolinda continues to work through her main commentary and posts clips from her various playthroughs on YouTube and through her side-Tumblr, @beneath-the-null-moon . Check out all of her stuff through her master post HERE.

TONIGHT!

Okay, I’m having another pain block procedure today (they UNERRINGLY schedule them for stream days), and I may or may not have recovered from the anesthesia tonight to be in chat. Depends on what they give me. And I’m so mad about it because I really loved fighting through Toluca Prison and it has one of my FAVORITE puzzles and like one of two badass moments James has in his entire life. Come lurk and check it out, I may be lurking too.

Also, barring any catastrophes to deal with, I’ll be using July to catch up on my commentaries. We will still be hilling silently; it’s just that Ian did most of the posting while I was in physical therapy, and now I can pick up the slack.

[syndicated profile] cleolinda_tumblr_feed

zillah975:

cleolinda:

cleolinda:

I finally figured out why—you know how people have comfort TV, or books, or whatever it is? I finally figured out why some people’s comfort media is horror, because that genre is one of mine. And mine’s more suspense, mystery, psychological horror, or even paranormal investigator shows that are very spoopy as long as you suspend your skepticism and go with the vibes. I’m not into huge amounts of gore or slasher movies or shock horror. But I know some people are, and I’m sure there’s someone out there who finds Terrifier 2 comforting, somehow.

It’s because they’re things we enjoy. That’s it. You can get into “horror is a safe roller coaster” and all that, but that’s why we enjoy horror. Enjoying anything is why we find it comforting. Not because I find being discomfited comforting; not because someone thinks chainsaw maniacs are intrinsically comforting. It’s because you sit there with something familiar and go, “Aw, here’s the really good part!” or “I really love the acting,” or “The mood is IMMACULATE,” or “The people who made this really put so much love and effort into the effects, look how good this is,” exactly the same way I would with, say, Lord of the Rings. Maybe you remember the behind-the-scenes lore, or reminisce about the first time you saw it and where you were in your life. Maybe even how much you needed whatever it is at that point in your life. And that’s why I might sit there behind a pillow rewatching The Haunting of Hill House, or going down a beloved creepypasta/No Sleep rabbit hole, while everyone else thinks I’ve lost my mind. I feel better about it when you frame it that way—it’s whatever reason you liked something in the first place, mellowed into fondness.

These people get the vision.

Mhm. Since my kitty Boomer died, I’ve been rewatching The Walking Dead from season 1 to feel better, even though I have to skip parts. Zombie apocalypse media is so much easier to take than my feelings about losing Booms, and so much easier to take than almost anything in the news or even most of the rest of real life.

I can’t outrun any of that.

I could outrun a zombie.

That’s comforting.

I like to say that Silent Hill 2 is the only problem I have that I can hit with a pipe. (I’m so sorry about your kitty.)

Page generated Jun. 27th, 2025 03:12 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios