Hello, I am alive, how are you?
Nov. 1st, 2015 02:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
next_to_normalSo I have not updated in forever. I blame it on the drugs. I am still on Percocet, my mother is worried I will become an addict, but my doctor said, "If it hurts, take as much as you need," so I am all, "YES THANKS TAKING ALL THE DRUGS" because I still have a lot of pain for some reason? Like, the nausea is (mostly) gone, way less diarrhea, and I am basically eating food like a normal human again. (It doesn't seem to matter what I eat, so I figure I might as well eat normally if it's going to hurt like hell anyway.) So, I mean, other than the DAILY BOUTS OF EXCRUCIATING PAIN, I'm kind of feeling better? I guess?
It's weird because I look better (i.e. I no longer look like death, apparently, now that I'm not vomiting everything), and I can manage to get through a day of work like a normal person, so people think I'm all cured, and I'm like, well no not really, but most of the time I feel like I can't really complain because it's not that bad and woo lovely painkillers. And then abruptly the pain will win out over the Percocet and I'm like, OH RIGHT.
I kinda suspect the Prednisone isn't actually doing anything? You'd think, if it was treating the inflammation the way it's supposed to, I would have less pain BUT NOPE. My current theory is that the diarrhea hasn't actually improved, either, it's just that the Percocet causes constipation, so the two are canceling each other out and giving me semi-normal bowel movements. Prednisone is by all accounts a terrible drug to be on when it's actually effective (because of the side effects), so I'm kinda fine with it not working, lol. My face miiiight be a little puffy, and it definitely boosted my appetite at first, although I think that's mostly leveled off, and there were a few really cranky days that might be attributed to 'roid rage, lol, but overall I've gotten off easy. No sense tempting fate, though, so when my doctor suggested we keep tapering off it anyway (I started at 60 mg/day, now I'm down to 20) that seemed okay.
I started a new infusion treatment called Entyvio. I've had two so far, no sign that it's working yet, but it could take another few weeks before we see any improvement.
In other life news, I went to Nashville for another work trip. I stayed for a few days after the conference was over, so I did manage to do some touristy stuff like the Country Music Hall of Fame and the Grand Ol' Opry. The main appeal of Nashville, though, seems to be just sitting in bars and listening to live music (which you can do for approximately 15 hours a day). I do like live music, but am not super into country, so there is a limit to how much honky tonking I can take, lol. I also was not drinking alcohol during the trip, due to the Crohn's and the Percocet, and sitting in bars drinking water is suuuuuper awkward, both because you're not spending money and because you're sober when everyone else is drunk. My parents joined me for the non-work days, so they did the drinking for me, but even they reached their limit. By the last day, we were looking for something to do, and my parents were like, "We could go listen to music but I just don't think I can drink any more beer..." So, I'm glad I went and got to see a new city, but I feel like a week was plenty of time there and I don't really need to go back.
Next I'm off to Miami (again for work), but that's just a weekend so I won't have time to get to the beach or do anything fun, probably.
Between the work conference and a trip home for a funeral, I've been seeing a lot of people I haven't seen in months or years lately. So there's also a lot of, "Wow, you look great!" because I've lost so much weight this year, which brings up all the usual fun complicated feelings about thin =/= healthy and the weird way I end up being almost apologetic that I didn't lose weight in a way they can feel good about? Sometimes it is easier to just accept the "compliment" and move on, because explaining makes them feel bad for me and so I feel like I have to be all "but weight loss is a silver lining I guess" and then INEVITABLY they're like, "Yeah, but that's not the way you want to do it," which is the most unintentionally judgy sentence ever because you are making me feel guilty for not losing weight the "right" way WHILE ALSO insulting me by assuming that I WANTED to lose weight in the first place. Can all of these exchanges just die a fiery death, please?
Uh, what else? I took Chelsea to the vet the other day, and kitty better get herself a job, preferably one with health insurance, because apparently she has dental issues - gingivitis and puffy blobs (technical term) of inflammation around her canine teeth. It doesn't seem to impede her eating at all, though I had noticed her breath was getting particularly stinky. I thought maybe it was the brand of food, and tried changing it up but that didn't make a difference. Anyway, the vet recommended a full dental exam with anesthesia and everything. He gave me the cost estimate for the procedure and yikes! Chelsea better get good at jumping through flaming hoops in front of large crowds, especially if it turns out she needs any teeth extracted. (On the plus side, Chelsea's new vet is very cute, so maybe she is just trying to give me excuses to see him again, lol.) The vet also suggested I try brushing her teeth, so LOL we'll see how that goes. I'll post pictures of the scratches.
It's weird because I look better (i.e. I no longer look like death, apparently, now that I'm not vomiting everything), and I can manage to get through a day of work like a normal person, so people think I'm all cured, and I'm like, well no not really, but most of the time I feel like I can't really complain because it's not that bad and woo lovely painkillers. And then abruptly the pain will win out over the Percocet and I'm like, OH RIGHT.
I kinda suspect the Prednisone isn't actually doing anything? You'd think, if it was treating the inflammation the way it's supposed to, I would have less pain BUT NOPE. My current theory is that the diarrhea hasn't actually improved, either, it's just that the Percocet causes constipation, so the two are canceling each other out and giving me semi-normal bowel movements. Prednisone is by all accounts a terrible drug to be on when it's actually effective (because of the side effects), so I'm kinda fine with it not working, lol. My face miiiight be a little puffy, and it definitely boosted my appetite at first, although I think that's mostly leveled off, and there were a few really cranky days that might be attributed to 'roid rage, lol, but overall I've gotten off easy. No sense tempting fate, though, so when my doctor suggested we keep tapering off it anyway (I started at 60 mg/day, now I'm down to 20) that seemed okay.
I started a new infusion treatment called Entyvio. I've had two so far, no sign that it's working yet, but it could take another few weeks before we see any improvement.
In other life news, I went to Nashville for another work trip. I stayed for a few days after the conference was over, so I did manage to do some touristy stuff like the Country Music Hall of Fame and the Grand Ol' Opry. The main appeal of Nashville, though, seems to be just sitting in bars and listening to live music (which you can do for approximately 15 hours a day). I do like live music, but am not super into country, so there is a limit to how much honky tonking I can take, lol. I also was not drinking alcohol during the trip, due to the Crohn's and the Percocet, and sitting in bars drinking water is suuuuuper awkward, both because you're not spending money and because you're sober when everyone else is drunk. My parents joined me for the non-work days, so they did the drinking for me, but even they reached their limit. By the last day, we were looking for something to do, and my parents were like, "We could go listen to music but I just don't think I can drink any more beer..." So, I'm glad I went and got to see a new city, but I feel like a week was plenty of time there and I don't really need to go back.
Next I'm off to Miami (again for work), but that's just a weekend so I won't have time to get to the beach or do anything fun, probably.
Between the work conference and a trip home for a funeral, I've been seeing a lot of people I haven't seen in months or years lately. So there's also a lot of, "Wow, you look great!" because I've lost so much weight this year, which brings up all the usual fun complicated feelings about thin =/= healthy and the weird way I end up being almost apologetic that I didn't lose weight in a way they can feel good about? Sometimes it is easier to just accept the "compliment" and move on, because explaining makes them feel bad for me and so I feel like I have to be all "but weight loss is a silver lining I guess" and then INEVITABLY they're like, "Yeah, but that's not the way you want to do it," which is the most unintentionally judgy sentence ever because you are making me feel guilty for not losing weight the "right" way WHILE ALSO insulting me by assuming that I WANTED to lose weight in the first place. Can all of these exchanges just die a fiery death, please?
Uh, what else? I took Chelsea to the vet the other day, and kitty better get herself a job, preferably one with health insurance, because apparently she has dental issues - gingivitis and puffy blobs (technical term) of inflammation around her canine teeth. It doesn't seem to impede her eating at all, though I had noticed her breath was getting particularly stinky. I thought maybe it was the brand of food, and tried changing it up but that didn't make a difference. Anyway, the vet recommended a full dental exam with anesthesia and everything. He gave me the cost estimate for the procedure and yikes! Chelsea better get good at jumping through flaming hoops in front of large crowds, especially if it turns out she needs any teeth extracted. (On the plus side, Chelsea's new vet is very cute, so maybe she is just trying to give me excuses to see him again, lol.) The vet also suggested I try brushing her teeth, so LOL we'll see how that goes. I'll post pictures of the scratches.
