Uggggghhhh

[next_to_normal]

So, the Drama Llama is still trying to contact me. He texted me a few times after I noped out, and I didn't respond and deleted his number. Now he's messaging me through Match and apparently still wants another chance.

Ugggggghhhhh.

Like, he's probably not a bad guy, but I don't have time for that kind of shit. If I wanted to spend time deciphering confusing mixed messages and maneuvering around other people's self-esteem issues, I'd go back to middle school. Communicate like a motherfucking adult if you want an adult relationship.

The hilarious part is that I only really went back to Match because I have a wedding coming up in November, and I really didn't want to go by myself because I have been to, like, 7 weddings with this same group of people and never had a date and now they're almost all married and it sucks being the last one who's not? So I was like, well, if I start dating someone in the summer, it wouldn't be weird to bring them to a wedding in November? And then I got the invite last week and I didn't even get a plus-one, so I guess I am going by myself whether I'm single or not?

Now I feel less pressure to be dating someone, I guess. But I still sort of don't even want to go to the wedding. And Match is horrible but I still have three and a half more months to go because I paid for it already. Ugh.

Hashtag I hate everything.

Comments

[silverusagi]

Ugh. Guys and continually messaging, even when things don't seem to be working out, seems to be A Thing. Why does he think that you still want to talk to him when you've already noped out and haven't responded to texts? Like, that's a pretty clear signal to me.

[next_to_normal]

Yeah, I literally said, "I'm done. Goodbye." What isn't clear about that? After I didn't respond to his texts asking for another chance, it was quiet for about a week, so I figured he'd gotten the message. Then, a week later, he's emailing me through Match asking if he's "still blacklisted," which... the wording alone got my hackles up, like he figured I was just pissed off and once I got over it, I'd go out with him again?

[silverusagi]

And see, I can almost understand that level of 'buy why won't you talk to me now?' if you'd been going out for months and then called it off, but it was one date! Dates are supposed to be for finding out if you click or not, and 'or not' is a perfectly acceptable response. But I hear so many stories where dudes seem to think that one date means you're obligated to talk to them for the rest of your life.

[next_to_normal]

Right! And the most bizarre part is that I WOULD have gone out with him again, had he not been super weird and CANCELLED the second date in a fit of insecurity and martyrdom. I am honestly tempted to respond to his email with, "Well, you were the one who told me I could do better, so I'm just taking your advice."

[silverusagi]

Well, it's two weeks later, and I'm morbidly curious if you ever talked to him again (to tell him to go away) or if he's still messaging you. :)

[next_to_normal]

Hahaha, no, I never responded to his Match message, and I haven't heard from him since, so I guess he figured it out on his own?

[rebcake]

FWIW, I've never had a good time at a wedding that I wasn't enthusiastic to attend in the first place. It's usually best to follow your instincts.

Not feeling pressure to date is probably the best time to date, though. You won't have any reason to stand for much BS. That's a good frame of mind to have!

[next_to_normal]

Not going isn't really an option. :\ It's the son of my parents' friends. My parents have this whole friend group who all have kids and we all spent a lot of time together when we were younger, because our parents used to organize it. But we're adults now and I only see them for weddings and funerals, so it's really a stretch to say they're my friends. But because our parents are so close, I basically have to be dying to be allowed to skip it.

I never really fit in with the rest of them, for a variety of reasons, but the more weddings I go to, the more I feel like the odd one out, because most of them are married and have kids now and I feel like they wonder what's wrong with me that I'm not?