next_to_normal: (hard to believe)
[personal profile] next_to_normal
I'd just like to take this opportunity, on our two-month anniversary, to recognize the bacteria living in my intestines.

Bacteria, we may never know the exact date on which you took up residence in my intestines, but it was two months ago today that you first made your presence known, even though I initially mistook you for the consequences of eating too much pizza and ice cream the night before.

It hasn't always been the easiest relationship - you've made life rather unpleasant these past two months, and you've probably been offended by my repeated attempts to evict you via antibiotics - but you've managed to stick it out through the tough times and refused to let my behavior drive you away. It's all because of your determination that we're still together today.

We did have our good times. After all, you helped me to lose those twenty pounds, necessitating a completely new wardrobe. Without your firm discipline, I'm sure I wouldn't have the willpower to eat nothing but crackers for weeks on end. Even as I attempt to broaden my diet, the abdominal cramps after every meal are a constant reminder that you care about what I eat. Thanks to you, my digestive system will never be the same.

And so, on this special occasion, I raise my probiotic yogurt to you, Bacteria, my microscopic frenemy.

Date: Oct. 8th, 2009 03:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sevvy-o.livejournal.com
*hugs* You poor thing! =(

Date: Oct. 8th, 2009 05:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 2maggie2.livejournal.com
Aw... sorry you have to suffer with that. But admiring that you can deal with it so wittily.

Date: Oct. 8th, 2009 05:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gabrielleabelle.livejournal.com
Okay, there's your problem. You're too damn funny. No wonder the bacteria don't wanna leave. It's like living in a nonstop comedy club! Start being duller and see what happens.

In serious turn, I'm sorry you've been sick. Never any fun.

Date: Oct. 8th, 2009 05:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gabrielleabelle.livejournal.com
Ugh...colonoscopy. You have my sympathies. I had one last spring when I was having my fun medication-induced shocked bile system problems. The procedure isn't bad. The actual prep isn't too bad. But the stuff you have to drink for the prep is the most vile, horrible, horrible, evil shit I have ever tasted in my entire life. *shudders in memory*

Date: Oct. 8th, 2009 06:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gabrielleabelle.livejournal.com
Oooo...the anesthesia is fun.

I was only allowed to mix lime juice with the gunk they gave me. I don't think it would make any difference. It tastes like metal, death, and putrid vomit all mixed together. I'm not really exaggerating, either. Plus, you have to drink so much. I almost called the whole thing off, I could barely get through the stuff.

Um...not to discourage you or anything! Heh.

Date: Oct. 8th, 2009 06:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angearia.livejournal.com
This just sounds like torment. Funny torment, but...

I once had a stomach virus for a week and dropped weight from eating only crackers and yogurt, but TWO MONTHS?!

I don't know how you're dealing, babe. That's just GAH.

Date: Oct. 8th, 2009 09:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] slaymesoftly.livejournal.com
Nice to know you've kept your sense of humor. :)

Date: Oct. 9th, 2009 12:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] green-maia.livejournal.com
You are AWESOME. I want to be as witty as you when I grow up.


I've gone through quite a bit of digestive stuff in my life. It's horrible.

(Are they sure it's bacteria? Not, say, gluten intolerance? Celiac disease is a lot more common than once thought...)


Thinking of you and hoping you feel better soon.

{{{*Hugs*}}}



Edited Date: Oct. 9th, 2009 12:24 am (UTC)

Date: Oct. 9th, 2009 01:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] green-maia.livejournal.com
More tests...ugh. *Hugs*

I hope they figure it out quickly and fix it so you can put the whole ghastly experience behind you - soon!

I'll keep my fingers crossed!

More *hugs*

Date: Oct. 9th, 2009 02:55 pm (UTC)
Page generated Sep. 3rd, 2025 12:57 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios