On this very special occasion...

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I'd just like to take this opportunity, on our two-month anniversary, to recognize the bacteria living in my intestines.

Bacteria, we may never know the exact date on which you took up residence in my intestines, but it was two months ago today that you first made your presence known, even though I initially mistook you for the consequences of eating too much pizza and ice cream the night before.

It hasn't always been the easiest relationship - you've made life rather unpleasant these past two months, and you've probably been offended by my repeated attempts to evict you via antibiotics - but you've managed to stick it out through the tough times and refused to let my behavior drive you away. It's all because of your determination that we're still together today.

We did have our good times. After all, you helped me to lose those twenty pounds, necessitating a completely new wardrobe. Without your firm discipline, I'm sure I wouldn't have the willpower to eat nothing but crackers for weeks on end. Even as I attempt to broaden my diet, the abdominal cramps after every meal are a constant reminder that you care about what I eat. Thanks to you, my digestive system will never be the same.

And so, on this special occasion, I raise my probiotic yogurt to you, Bacteria, my microscopic frenemy.

Comments

[sevvy-o.livejournal.com]

*hugs* You poor thing! =(

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Thanks. Ironically, the worst of it was while I was on the antibiotics. Now that I'm done the meds (which didn't work), I'm about the same as I was before, but it feels like an improvement because I got sicker in between, lol.

[2maggie2.livejournal.com]

Aw... sorry you have to suffer with that. But admiring that you can deal with it so wittily.

[next_to_normal]

Heh, thanks. It's much easier to laugh about it after my parents came to visit and pampered me last weekend. :) I should be sick more often.

[gabrielleabelle.livejournal.com]

Okay, there's your problem. You're too damn funny. No wonder the bacteria don't wanna leave. It's like living in a nonstop comedy club! Start being duller and see what happens.

In serious turn, I'm sorry you've been sick. Never any fun.

[next_to_normal]

If that's the case, you'd think the bacteria would've fled during the "I want my mommy" phase a couple weeks ago. According to Chelsea, I was rather pathetic. (Then again, she's a cat. She always thinks I'm pathetic.)

Well, I have to go get a colonoscopy... we'll see who laughing after that.

[gabrielleabelle.livejournal.com]

Ugh...colonoscopy. You have my sympathies. I had one last spring when I was having my fun medication-induced shocked bile system problems. The procedure isn't bad. The actual prep isn't too bad. But the stuff you have to drink for the prep is the most vile, horrible, horrible, evil shit I have ever tasted in my entire life. *shudders in memory*

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I have never had one - in fact, I've never had anesthesia before, so that's new and exciting.

It occurs to me that the prep can't possibly be any worse than what the bacteria has already caused, lol. My dad said that, depending on which stuff you get, you can sometimes mix it with Gatorade to make it taste less vile.

[gabrielleabelle.livejournal.com]

Oooo...the anesthesia is fun.

I was only allowed to mix lime juice with the gunk they gave me. I don't think it would make any difference. It tastes like metal, death, and putrid vomit all mixed together. I'm not really exaggerating, either. Plus, you have to drink so much. I almost called the whole thing off, I could barely get through the stuff.

Um...not to discourage you or anything! Heh.

[next_to_normal]

...yay?

[angearia.livejournal.com]

This just sounds like torment. Funny torment, but...

I once had a stomach virus for a week and dropped weight from eating only crackers and yogurt, but TWO MONTHS?!

I don't know how you're dealing, babe. That's just GAH.

[next_to_normal]

Heh, I was only a strict crackertarian for a few weeks. After I started getting sick, I cut down my diet to bland foods - rice, crackers, pretzels, potatoes, noodles, and the like - but it wasn't until the meds kicked in and I couldn't keep anything down that I was down to just crackers.

But OMG watching TV was torture! TV commercials for food gave me so many cravings! I was having dreams about my mother's meatloaf, and getting out of bed in the middle of the night to google Red Lobster, just to stare at the pictures and drool. I thought I'd go crazy.

Now I'm trying to integrate the other food groups again. It seems that I get abdominal pain no matter what I eat, so I might as well eat what I want.

[slaymesoftly.livejournal.com]

Nice to know you've kept your sense of humor. :)

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Heh, I can make fun of anything - including myself. :)

[green-maia.livejournal.com]

You are AWESOME. I want to be as witty as you when I grow up.


I've gone through quite a bit of digestive stuff in my life. It's horrible.

(Are they sure it's bacteria? Not, say, gluten intolerance? Celiac disease is a lot more common than once thought...)


Thinking of you and hoping you feel better soon.

{{{*Hugs*}}}

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Hee! Thank you. :)

And yeah, there was definitely bacteria - I tested positive for C. difficile. The antibiotics should have done the trick, so now it's a question of whether it's just a particularly stubborn case, or if there's an underlying something else (like colitis) that we haven't identified yet. I'm in the process of more tests to figure that out.

[green-maia.livejournal.com]

More tests...ugh. *Hugs*

I hope they figure it out quickly and fix it so you can put the whole ghastly experience behind you - soon!

I'll keep my fingers crossed!

More *hugs*

[next_to_normal]

Thanks! I hope so, too! :)

Matchy icons!

[green-maia.livejournal.com]

:)