Putting the "fun" in dysfunctional

[next_to_normal]

With our resident Poll Girl temporarily out of commission, there must be some itchy ticky fingers out there! And so, I give you: (dys)functional relationships of the Buffyverse, inspired by ever_neutral's capslocky rage. :)

There are a ton of other pairings I could've included but you only get ten multiple choice slots, so I stuck to the main canon pairings. Feel free to make an argument for some other couple in the comments.

Poll #7543 (Dys)Functional Relationships

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 20

View Respondents

Who had the most functional relationship on BtVS?

View Answers

Buffy/Angel
0 (0.0%)

Giles/Jenny
7 (35.0%)

Xander/Cordelia
0 (0.0%)

Willow/Oz
7 (35.0%)

Xander/Anya
0 (0.0%)

Buffy/Riley
2 (10.0%)

Willow/Tara
1 (5.0%)

Buffy/Spike
0 (0.0%)

Willow/Kennedy
2 (10.0%)

Other - answer in comments
1 (5.0%)

Who had the most dysfunctional relationship on BtVS?

View Answers

Buffy/Angel
6 (30.0%)

Giles/Jenny
0 (0.0%)

Xander/Cordelia
1 (5.0%)

Willow/Oz
1 (5.0%)

Xander/Anya
0 (0.0%)

Buffy/Riley
0 (0.0%)

Willow/Tara
2 (10.0%)

Buffy/Spike
10 (50.0%)

Willow/Kennedy
0 (0.0%)

Other - answer in comments
0 (0.0%)

Who had the most functional relationship on AtS?

View Answers

Wes/Virginia
3 (16.7%)

Angel/Darla
2 (11.1%)

Fred/Gunn
8 (44.4%)

Angel/Cordy
1 (5.6%)

Wes/Lilah
0 (0.0%)

Cordy/Connor
0 (0.0%)

Wes/Fred
0 (0.0%)

Angel/Nina
1 (5.6%)

Lindsey/Eve
2 (11.1%)

Other - answer in comments
1 (5.6%)

Who had the most dysfunctional relationship on AtS?

View Answers

Wes/Virginia
0 (0.0%)

Angel/Darla
5 (27.8%)

Fred/Gunn
0 (0.0%)

Angel/Cordy
1 (5.6%)

Wes/Lilah
1 (5.6%)

Cordy/Connor
9 (50.0%)

Wes/Fred
2 (11.1%)

Angel/Nina
0 (0.0%)

Lindsey/Eve
0 (0.0%)

Other - answer in comments
0 (0.0%)

Comments

[lutamira]

Amount study break improved by presence of exciting Buffyverse poll: 1,000%
Level of success at filling out said poll: 100% on everything! (Benefits of going first I guess ;)

I think I should probably explain my vote for Angel/Darla as most functional relationship of AtS, since it is not, I don't think, an obvious choice. :) Basically, I defined the functional to dysfunctional continuum two ways. First by looking at power dynamics where more equality = more functionality, and power imbalances = dysfunction. Second by the amount two people, together, are able to be themselves, to be fully supported as themselves, and to get pleasure from the presence of the other, as they are. Dysfunction is conversely defined by how much posturing, hiding, editing or self-censoring one has to do to remain acceptable to the other partner. Darla/Angel score high on the first bit and they average pretty well on the second bit. (Things worked better, obviously, when they were both evil, but Angel's love and concern for Darla even when she is completely evil are nearly unconditional, at least when we isolate AtS from BtVS.) The two of them have always felt to me like the truly epic love story of the whole 'verse, if one is looking for that sort of thing...

All this is not to say that two psychopaths running loose are functional per se, just that I like their relationship dynamics in ways other relationships on the show bothered me. (Most especially with power imbalances.)

[pocochina]

I love your thoughts.

[lutamira]

♥

(Although, I realized I kind of forgot what a paternalistic asshat Angel was to Darla when she was pregnant with Conner. Oh well.)

[eilowyn1]

You may have just made me an Angel/Darla stan just from this.

[lutamira]

Yay! Darla/Angel has so many layers, you know? I find them really interesting (and I like how she's the only woman we ever see who isn't at a major power disadvantage vis-a-vis Angel.)

[next_to_normal]

I like your reasoning! And I'm glad you explained, because otherwise I'd be side-eying you a bit. ;)

That's not quite the definition of functional that I was using - I was thinking more along the lines of "Was this relationship a positive experience for both characters? Did they treat each other with respect? Is this a relationship to be emulated?" Also, not committing any crimes because of the relationship was a plus, lol.

But there are no right or wrong answers, and personally, I ADORE Angel/Darla as a pairing. They truly are epic: spanning years and continents, lives ruined, bloodshed. :)

[pocochina]

I was going to go with Wes/Virginia for most functional couple (<3 <3 <3) but I actually think it was Angel/Spike by the end there.

[next_to_normal]

Hahaha, that's fair. I did consider including them in the poll. :)

[ever_neutral]

MY CAPSLOCKY RAGE IS AN INSPIRATIONAL THING, LMAO.

yeeeeep.

I went with Oz/Willow for most functional. And Eve/Lindsey, surprisingly. And MAH OTP Buffy/Spike is the best dysfunctional ship evah, obviously. Over on Ats... nothing beats the horror of Connor/Cordy, ha.

Note: LOL, FRED/GUNN IS WINNING. LOL. HOW DID I KNOW. ROTFLLLL.

[next_to_normal]

Hahahaha, it's like they're trying to prove your point or something! :)

[goldenusagi]

I chose Willow/Oz for functional, but I could have said Xander/Anya, because they did last a long time. I said Buffy/Spike was the most dysfunctional. Angel/Buffy is bad, too, because they were just wrong for each other, but Buffy/Spike wins for me in terms of sheer loathing. Buffy seemed to be using Spike to work out her own issues, and didn't seem to like herself when she was with him.

[next_to_normal]

Heh, I kind of surprised myself by not picking Buffy/Spike as most dysfunctional. Maybe because the show recognized it as dysfunctional? Whereas some of the other relationships are just as screwed up, but the show tried to make them seem totally normal? And having the characters in denial about how dysfunctional they are somehow makes them even more dysfunctional? lol

[eilowyn1]

Depending on the season, you could argue Buffy/ Spike for most functional and least functional couple. Season six they were definitely the least functional couple in the Buffyverse, but at least they were on an equal standing power-wise, but season seven Spuffy reaches some sort of unseen level of understanding that seems almost incomprehensible in a Jossverse show. Their ability to stand by each other through thick and thin is amazing, and they are able to weather great storms together, sometimes to the detriment of Buffy's relationships with others.

[next_to_normal]

Heh, true. I suppose if you average it out, they almost seem ordinary! :-P

[fenderlove]

First question, I picked Sam and Riley. For their lack of screentime and yet how much of how perfect they are for one another got thrown at the audience, yeah, they seem to function pretty well. Also, Oz and his partner from Season Eight seemed to be doing all right in the functionality department with the commitment and the child-rearing and the sharing of experiences.

[next_to_normal]

Interesting, I wouldn't have thought of Riley/Sam. That's probably influenced by a new reading of them I picked up - the idea that they're consciously faking the perfection. Riley wants to "win the breakup" by showing Buffy how great his life is now, and Sam is intimidated by Buffy because she's all Riley talked about, so they're both putting on this huge show of how perfect they are. Not that they can't still be functional (at least when Buffy's not around), but it hints at some cracks in the relationship that we don't get to see.

[fenderlove]

I would have to ask why they are bothering to fake perfection. Riley didn't show up in Sunnydale with Sam to show Buffy up. He showed up because that's where those demons were, and the military most likely sent them both. He was nothing if not confident but completely accommodating and cordial. That would be like saying that Buffy's intentions going to Spike's crypt to have sex were to show up Riley when she couldn't have known that he would be walking it. And really, what did Riley and Sam do to show that they were so "perfect?" They got along, they smile, they have stories of how they met and got married, and Riley's not a complete sobbing belligerent mess over Buffy because he found someone who is more compatible with him and returns his affections. I think that the episode is written to make the audience hate Sam, hate that Riley is okay without Buffy, and to make us have sympathy for Buffy herself. Kind of like while the episode is going on Willow is all smiles, but as soon as the couple is out of earshot it's "That bitch." Why? Because it's for Buffy's benefit. Poor, poor Buffy, all alone and Riley came down here to flaunt his wife. I bet his sent those demons down here just to do that!

[next_to_normal]

I never said they came there with the intention to show up Buffy. Nor do I think they said, "Hey, we should totally act better than we are just to make Buffy feel bad." It's just that they happen to be in Sunnydale, and Buffy's there, and that creates tension.

It's a defensive reaction, borne out of their respective insecurities - which is not a judgment of them or saying they're horrible people. In fact, it's a fairly common reaction to seeing an ex, especially one who looms as large as Buffy does. Riley feels like he has to prove how "together" he is now, and Sam feels like she has to prove she measures up to Buffy. It's pretty obvious to me that Sam in particular is trying too hard to impress the Scoobies, and that's why the perfection seems fake.

I started to give examples from AYW, but it's probably better to read the original comment from Max than me trying to summarize it.

I think that the episode is written to make the audience hate Sam, hate that Riley is okay without Buffy, and to make us have sympathy for Buffy herself.

That's entirely possible. That doesn't mean it can't ALSO read as Riley and Sam putting on a show for Buffy and her friends.

What the episode was written to do is rather irrelevant to me. I don't care what the writers tell me I'm supposed to think. I care about what I see. Frankly, if taken at face value, this episode makes absolutely zero sense to me. Fortunately, BtVS is laden with layers and multiple interpretations. That one's mine.

[fenderlove]

I just don't see what they did that seems fake. They seem be getting asked questions by the Scoobies, and they answer them in an honest fashion or so it seems. Sam seems to not want to impress the Scoobies, but impress Buffy. Not in an "I'm better than you" sense, but in a "I recognize that you are an excellent fighter, and I strive to be an excellent fighter too." She genuinely seems impressed with the skill that Riley says Buffy has; she even worries that she might be slowing Buffy down. To me, what seems more fake in the episode is the Scoobies. Instead of Buffy being honest that she's uncomfortable, she lies and avoids. Willow pretends to be all buddy-buddy until Sam and Riley are out of earshot. It's all rather disingenuous. Maybe that's the point of the episode- perceptions and niceties and then going back as you were when it's over.

[next_to_normal]

And that's also a valid interpretation of the episode. In fact, I'd say it's not incompatible with mine. We don't have to make one side the good guys and the other side the bad guys. It's possible for everyone to be a little bit wrong.

I think there's fakeness in the way the Scoobies are all lying to themselves as well. I don't think it's a coincidence that this is the episode right before everything falls apart - Xander and Anya's wedding, then Buffy's illusions about Spike, and finally Willow's issues with magic. They're all pretending that everything is under control when it's clearly not.

That's the beauty of this show - polysemy. :)