next_to_normal: (Buffy sigh)
[personal profile] next_to_normal
Haven't had much to say, sadly. Health continues to be a clusterfuck. I did get anti-nausea medicine that helped for a while (until it didn't), and I went on vacation, which was fun and relaxing (except when it wasn't), and now everything is terrible.

The anti-nausea meds did provide some unintentional hilarity in that apparently I am taking SO MUCH OF IT that the pharmacy continually is running out of them. When my doctor first called in the prescription, it was for 50 pills, but when I go to pick them up, the pharmacist is like, "Uh, we don't have that many in stock, so I can give you 25 now, or we can order more and you can pick it up in a few days? But I know this is the kind of medicine you usually need right away, so -- " Me: "TWENTY-FIVE NOW PLEASE."

(The dosage is "as needed," up to 4 times a day, and I've been trying not to take the maximum, but I was averaging 3x a day the first week. Then I told my doctor that and he was like, "That's... a lot," so I've been trying to stick to 2x, but... well, we'll get there.)

A week later, I call in a refill, but when I go to pick it up, they've only refilled me 25 pills, because I guess they go based on the last amount filled? IDK. Anyway, I was going on vacation, so I knew I couldn't come back in a week for more, so I was like, can't I get 50 this time? But again, they don't have enough. This time, the pharmacist tells me, "We have 40 pills in stock, and I can give you all of them, but since it's a generic, it's 3 different manufacturers. It's all the same thing, but just the pills will look different - is that going to bother you?" Me: "NOT AS MUCH AS THE NAUSEA WILL."

So, off I went on vacation, multitudes of generic Zofran in hand. \o/

I went to the Outer Banks with my parents, which was nice. If I hadn't been sick, it would've been a great vacation. Our condo was right on the beach, we had great weather, the water was warm and no one got eaten by a shark. I did spend an awful lot of my time sleeping, and my diet consisted mostly of crackers, but I only threw up once. I didn't get to spend as much time on the beach as I'd have liked, because I was just really uncomfortable, and obviously did not enjoy the local restaurants as much as I would have otherwise.

And on Sunday, when I was back home and my parents had left, I got kind of sad/upset, because vacation was over and I felt like I'd wasted it somehow? Not that there's anything I could've done about being sick, but just that I KNOW I'd have had a much better time if I wasn't sick, but it's not like I could ~save the trip for when I'm better, since it was already planned and we don't actually have any idea when/if I'll be better so postponing would be dumb. And obviously being sick at the beach is better than being sick at home and at work, because doing anything at the beach is always better than NOT being at the beach.

I don't know. I think I'm just FUCKING DONE, you know? I have reached the limits of my tolerance of being sick. Except there's no magic un-sick switch to flip, so.... yeah. I am just perpetually cranky at the world.

I did manage to muster the fortitude to partake in the all-you-can-eat seafood buffet and eat my (still diminishing) weight in crab legs. (And I paid for it later, oh boy, but it was worth it.) It was one of those places where they just leave a whole roll of paper towels and a bucket for shells on your table. And on the buffet, they had a VAT OF WARM MELTED BUTTER WITH A SPIGOT, which is possibly the greatest idea ever in the history of civilization. We of course teased my mom - who LOVES butter and according to family legend once ate an entire stick of butter by itself - about ditching the little plastic butter cups and just sticking her mouth straight under the spigot, but apparently she is too classy for such things. My dad may or may not be installing a "hot butter faucet" in their kitchen, though.

Overall, though, not much - or any - improvement on the Crohn's front. In fact, after we got back from vacation, I abruptly got much worse (and the seafood buffet was early in the week, so it wasn't that - or anything I'd eaten on vacation, because the last day and a half was nothing but crackers). I don't know if the anti-nausea meds have suddenly stopped working or if something else is going on, but I've thrown up twice in the last 24 hours and have generally felt all-around awful. 

I've also officially crossed the 40-lb weight loss threshold, after losing 5 lbs. while on vacation. (Mom: "Even with all the butter?!") It's really only significant because last time I was this sick, I'd lost about 40 lbs. by the time I went into the hospital, but the number itself isn't especially indicative of anything - it was the intestinal blockage that required hospitalization, not the weight loss, and anyway, I started at a higher weight this time around, so I'm still well above where I was then. But still, the coincidence now has me wondering if maybe I've been vomiting because of another intestinal blockage? If that were the case, then it wouldn't matter how much anti-nausea medicine I was taking.

In any case, I've decided to give a clear liquids diet a try for a bit to see if it helps - which, since I haven't gone shopping and clearly am not going out NOW, basically means vegetable stock and jello because it's all I have. (Worst "Cooking with Eowyn" post ever.) If anyone has any ideas for how to make vegetable stock taste like actual soup without adding, you know, food, please chime in in the comments!

Anyway, I go to see the doctor again on Friday, so let's hope I'm not puking until then!

Date: Aug. 18th, 2015 09:00 pm (UTC)
snickfic: (Default)
From: [personal profile] snickfic
That all sounds completely horrible. I'm so sorry. *hugs*

Date: Aug. 18th, 2015 11:11 pm (UTC)
snickfic: (Default)
From: [personal profile] snickfic

Ha ha, well, yes, that is some pretty great consolation, right there.

/hungry now

Date: Aug. 18th, 2015 11:04 pm (UTC)
frayadjacent: Buffy smirking over Giles with quarterstaff (VM: Fuck it need a nap)
From: [personal profile] frayadjacent
Dude, I am so sorry you've been so miserable. Nausea is the worst, and day after day of it? That's fucking terrible.

And I totally hear you about I AM FUCKING DONE, but then nothing changes. At one point in my life I would have thought/hoped that chronic pain and illness get easier to bear with time as you learn how to cope. But I've since learned from personal experience as well as loved ones that it so often drains your ability to cope, and it can become harder to bear. But what can you do?

Anyway, I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Date: Aug. 19th, 2015 02:11 am (UTC)
umadoshi: (dumpling (iconic_notions))
From: [personal profile] umadoshi
Ugh, that is wretched. I'm so sorry your body's messing with you so badly. *hugs*

I'm glad there were good parts to the vacation, though! BUTTER SPIGOT. Ohmygoodness. (My dumpling icon is the closest I have to an appropriate one.)

Date: Aug. 19th, 2015 02:15 am (UTC)
slaymesoftly: (Default)
From: [personal profile] slaymesoftly
Yikes. Haven't caught you on here for a long time and didn't realize you were still having problems. But yeah, I hope the doctor has some ideas for you and can help you feel better. Sucks that you couldn't really enjoy the beach vacation.

We're off to Scotland (!) tomorrow, but I'll be peeking in when and if I can to see what everyone is up to.

Feel better!

Date: Aug. 19th, 2015 04:51 am (UTC)
ever_neutral: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ever_neutral
Dude, I’m sorry it’s gotten so bad you’re in constant pain and having to remodel your entire diet. I am praying for a damn miracle cure for you.
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