100 Things - #8
Jun. 6th, 2012 01:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
next_to_normalRandom prompt: How would you rate your self-image?
Oh lord, how long do you have? lol
I feel like we kind of already covered this with the "I'm all alone" song. At the same time, it feels like an overwhelming topic to get into because I have SO MANY ISSUES OMG. I mean, the short answer is: poor. My self-image is very, very poor. This is a thing I know, and a thing I know I should work on, but whenever I start to think about it, it just seems so hopelessly enormous that I get depressed and conclude that I am unfixable.
It's where I ended up hitting a wall with my last therapist (and why I ultimately stopped seeing her, because it was more frustrating than helpful), because she couldn't give me more than "think positive!" platitudes, which seems horribly insufficient against 28 years of negative messages from myself, my family, my peers, the media, etc. Just thinking about it makes me cry. I don't know how to make myself believe something that I have never believed to be true and fundamentally don't think is even possible. That's all kinds of vague, but this is a public post, yo.
Moral of the story: Please, guys, ask me questions, so I don't have to fill such maudlin prompts! :-P
Oh lord, how long do you have? lol
I feel like we kind of already covered this with the "I'm all alone" song. At the same time, it feels like an overwhelming topic to get into because I have SO MANY ISSUES OMG. I mean, the short answer is: poor. My self-image is very, very poor. This is a thing I know, and a thing I know I should work on, but whenever I start to think about it, it just seems so hopelessly enormous that I get depressed and conclude that I am unfixable.
It's where I ended up hitting a wall with my last therapist (and why I ultimately stopped seeing her, because it was more frustrating than helpful), because she couldn't give me more than "think positive!" platitudes, which seems horribly insufficient against 28 years of negative messages from myself, my family, my peers, the media, etc. Just thinking about it makes me cry. I don't know how to make myself believe something that I have never believed to be true and fundamentally don't think is even possible. That's all kinds of vague, but this is a public post, yo.
Moral of the story: Please, guys, ask me questions, so I don't have to fill such maudlin prompts! :-P
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Date: Jun. 11th, 2012 03:56 pm (UTC)