Most eventful Thanksgiving EVER
Nov. 29th, 2011 03:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
next_to_normalHiya, folks. Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving (or, outside the U.S., a totally normal Thursday). Mine was... action-packed. Which is perhaps why it's been a week since I last posted. I needed time to recover.
Things started out normal - I took the bus home to my parents' house and we went to my aunt's for Thanksgiving dinner. Once again, I did not meet my cousin's elusive fiance. I am not totally convinced he actually exists. As usual, my aunt made normal Thanksgiving stuff with a weird twist (this year was an Indian recipe for the turkey. Like, Indian from India, not Native American. Because that makes TOTAL sense, lol). The real excitement started after dessert. In addition to a pumpkin mousse, my aunt tried a new recipe from Paula Deen. It was a chocolate layer cake, with a cheesecake layer in the middle. Yes, you read that right. A cheesecake was INSIDE THE CAKE. We estimated that there were maybe 12 lbs. of butter involved, give or take.
Now, I am not saying that what happened next was the cake's fault. I am just saying that my aunt's dining room table has been around for thirty-some years, and we have had a LOT of holiday meals on that table, and this is the only time it has ever collapsed on us.
Mom: "Uh... did anyone else hear that? It sounded like the table was cracking..."
Aunt: "It does seem to be sagging in the center there, doesn't it?"
Yep. My aunt's dining room table collapsed on Thanksgiving. It's actually pretty fortunate that it did collapse while we were all sitting there, and not in the middle of the night before with all the china and everything set out for Thanksgiving. Also fortunate is that it was sort of a slow break. My dad likened it to the sinking of the Titanic, as stuff kinda started sliding toward the center. At least it gave us time to react instead of it just crashing to the floor and squashing one of the cats or something.
Dad: "She's going down! Er, maybe you guys should get out of there before it completely breaks in half?"
Me: "Can't! We are all that's holding up the table!"
So my mom and I are sitting there, unable to move because the table is now resting on our laps, while the rest of the family frantically clears away the dessert plates and the candles and such. (My aunt said she'd never seen a table cleared so fast.) Then we sort of eased it to the floor in two pieces.
Aunt: "I cannot believe this."
Cousin: "You should write a letter to Paula Deen or something."
(These were taken with my cell phone, so the picture quality's not great. I only wish someone had thought to start taking pictures when my mom and I were trapped by the table, but we were kind of panicking at the time? While also laughing hysterically, of course.)
A day or so later, I discovered an enormous bruise just above my knee, presumably table-related. And in case you're worried about the state of the table, my dad went back over there the next day with his tools and fixed it, so all is well.
Anyway, the excitement continued with Black Friday shopping and my cousin's wedding on Saturday (different cousin - other side of the family). My therapist had suggested that maybe I could meet single guys at the wedding, because apparently she's never been to an actual wedding and everything she knows is from movies which is the only place where that actually happens. Seriously, I have been to almost a dozen weddings over the last several years, and not ONCE have there been hordes of single guys. In fact, usually I am the only one without a date.
It did, however, lead to my dad's cousins (who are awesome and hilarious, unlike the rest of my dad's family, who are mostly crazy and only occasionally unintentionally hilarious) deciding to scope out the guys for me:
My dad's cousin: "Oooh, I think that guy over there is checking you out! He's cute!"
Me: "Ooh, yeah, he is."
My mom: "...I think he might be one of the cousins from Ohio, actually."
My dad's cousin: "Ohio? Never mind. You don't want a long distance relationship."
Me: "Yeah. Also, we're kind of related..."
Also, at one point, my grandmother made a pointed comment about being glad that she lived to see one of her grandchildren get married at least, and I got snarky and told her I was waiting until she was dead. :-P (I mean, seriously, does she think I'm doing it on purpose? It's not like making snide comments is going to get me a boyfriend any quicker. Give it a rest, Grandmom.)
Anyway, that was my holiday. How was yours?
Things started out normal - I took the bus home to my parents' house and we went to my aunt's for Thanksgiving dinner. Once again, I did not meet my cousin's elusive fiance. I am not totally convinced he actually exists. As usual, my aunt made normal Thanksgiving stuff with a weird twist (this year was an Indian recipe for the turkey. Like, Indian from India, not Native American. Because that makes TOTAL sense, lol). The real excitement started after dessert. In addition to a pumpkin mousse, my aunt tried a new recipe from Paula Deen. It was a chocolate layer cake, with a cheesecake layer in the middle. Yes, you read that right. A cheesecake was INSIDE THE CAKE. We estimated that there were maybe 12 lbs. of butter involved, give or take.
Now, I am not saying that what happened next was the cake's fault. I am just saying that my aunt's dining room table has been around for thirty-some years, and we have had a LOT of holiday meals on that table, and this is the only time it has ever collapsed on us.
Mom: "Uh... did anyone else hear that? It sounded like the table was cracking..."
Aunt: "It does seem to be sagging in the center there, doesn't it?"
Yep. My aunt's dining room table collapsed on Thanksgiving. It's actually pretty fortunate that it did collapse while we were all sitting there, and not in the middle of the night before with all the china and everything set out for Thanksgiving. Also fortunate is that it was sort of a slow break. My dad likened it to the sinking of the Titanic, as stuff kinda started sliding toward the center. At least it gave us time to react instead of it just crashing to the floor and squashing one of the cats or something.
Dad: "She's going down! Er, maybe you guys should get out of there before it completely breaks in half?"
Me: "Can't! We are all that's holding up the table!"
So my mom and I are sitting there, unable to move because the table is now resting on our laps, while the rest of the family frantically clears away the dessert plates and the candles and such. (My aunt said she'd never seen a table cleared so fast.) Then we sort of eased it to the floor in two pieces.
Aunt: "I cannot believe this."
Cousin: "You should write a letter to Paula Deen or something."
(These were taken with my cell phone, so the picture quality's not great. I only wish someone had thought to start taking pictures when my mom and I were trapped by the table, but we were kind of panicking at the time? While also laughing hysterically, of course.)
A day or so later, I discovered an enormous bruise just above my knee, presumably table-related. And in case you're worried about the state of the table, my dad went back over there the next day with his tools and fixed it, so all is well.
Anyway, the excitement continued with Black Friday shopping and my cousin's wedding on Saturday (different cousin - other side of the family). My therapist had suggested that maybe I could meet single guys at the wedding, because apparently she's never been to an actual wedding and everything she knows is from movies which is the only place where that actually happens. Seriously, I have been to almost a dozen weddings over the last several years, and not ONCE have there been hordes of single guys. In fact, usually I am the only one without a date.
It did, however, lead to my dad's cousins (who are awesome and hilarious, unlike the rest of my dad's family, who are mostly crazy and only occasionally unintentionally hilarious) deciding to scope out the guys for me:
My dad's cousin: "Oooh, I think that guy over there is checking you out! He's cute!"
Me: "Ooh, yeah, he is."
My mom: "...I think he might be one of the cousins from Ohio, actually."
My dad's cousin: "Ohio? Never mind. You don't want a long distance relationship."
Me: "Yeah. Also, we're kind of related..."
Also, at one point, my grandmother made a pointed comment about being glad that she lived to see one of her grandchildren get married at least, and I got snarky and told her I was waiting until she was dead. :-P (I mean, seriously, does she think I'm doing it on purpose? It's not like making snide comments is going to get me a boyfriend any quicker. Give it a rest, Grandmom.)
Anyway, that was my holiday. How was yours?
no subject
Date: Nov. 29th, 2011 11:48 pm (UTC)My thanksgiving was far less eventful. Made a turkey breast (since it was just me and Seamus), mashed potatoes and stuffing. I didn't think we needed to eat super early like other people do, so we planned around 7 or so. Except the stupid turkey pop out thermometer never popped, so I had it in the oven for an hour longer than it was supposed to be, since my meat thermometer said it wasn't warm enough. Finally gave up and took it out, it was good.
Earlier in the day, I realized we didn't have any dessert. I figured I could make cookies. Exceof I didn't have baking soda or butter. Then we debated going to the store, but didn't want to be those assholes that are shopping on thanksgiving. Finally decided on chocolate chocolate chip muffins, since that mix only required milk. Of course the only cupcake wrappers I had were ones wih birthday balloons on them. Oh well.
no subject
Date: Dec. 3rd, 2011 01:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Nov. 30th, 2011 12:11 am (UTC)GoldenUsagi
no subject
Date: Dec. 3rd, 2011 01:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Nov. 30th, 2011 01:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Dec. 3rd, 2011 01:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Nov. 30th, 2011 01:36 am (UTC)And meeting single guys at weddings? What, did she watch The Wedding Crashers and think it was a documentary or something? Weird.
no subject
Date: Dec. 3rd, 2011 01:37 pm (UTC)(Of course, the other problem is that every wedding I've gone to has been in PA. So unless I want a long-distance relationship, the chances of meeting someone local are even slimmer.)
no subject
Date: Nov. 30th, 2011 03:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Dec. 3rd, 2011 01:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Nov. 30th, 2011 04:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Dec. 3rd, 2011 01:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Nov. 30th, 2011 06:26 pm (UTC)Whoa, no wonder you're bruised, this table is huge!
Seriously, I have been to almost a dozen weddings over the last several years, and not ONCE have there been hordes of single guys. In fact, usually I am the only one without a date.
THE STORY OF MY LIFE. That's why I hate weddings. Everybody treats them like a one huuuuuge date, and when you come without a guy, you don't exist. There barely is someone to talk to. #I have FEELINGS about weddings
no subject
Date: Dec. 3rd, 2011 01:43 pm (UTC)