Doctors and gender

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Question for the ladies: Is gender a factor when you're picking a doctor?

This is something that's been on my mind, as I am once again perusing my insurance company's provider directory (which I hate doing, btw - exactly how much can you tell from a listing that tells you the doctor's name, address, and medical school?). It may be more of an issue for younger women, since, as my mother pointed out once, you're pretty likely to be comfortable with male doctors if you didn't have a choice when you first started going. But regardless of age, I'm curious whether or not you have a preference.

And if you do, is it for all doctors, or just certain specialties? Have you had prior experiences that led to these preferences? Do you feel that a female doctor has a better understanding of your body/issues/lifestyle? Do you feel that, because you're a woman, a female doctor will take you more seriously than a male doctor would? In choosing a doctor, is gender more important than other factors, such as office location, reputation, or length of wait time for an appointment?

I definitely feel more comfortable talking to a female doctor about whatever's wrong with me - and the more vulnerable I feel talking about it, the more the doctor's gender matters to me. I can talk about a toothache with anyone, no problem, but my mental health? Absolutely prefer a woman. Except that's how I picked my current therapist and I hate her. :-P But I still would prefer to find another woman, because I just cannot imagine feeling comfortable expressing my feelings to a male therapist. When I first started going to the gynecologist, the idea of having a male doctor responsible for my girly bits weirded me out (though I've since gotten over that). In general, I tend to think that male doctors won't take me seriously, or they won't understand why I feel the way I do.

The thing is, my experiences with doctors haven't necessarily borne that out. On average, my experience with female doctors is that they don't necessarily understand me better, and they're not necessarily more sympathetic or respectful than the male doctors I've seen. Some of my worst experiences have been with female doctors, and some of my favorite doctors have been male. My family doctors growing up, my gastroenterologist, my gynecologist, my ophthalmologist, my ENT, even my dentist - all are male, mostly after bad experiences with female doctors. (Oh, although I did prefer my female endocrinologist and dermatologist, even though I don't see either of them anymore... and now I'm starting to wonder if most people see as many specialists as I do, lol.) So it's intriguing to me that whenever I go back to the directory, I still find myself immediately gravitating toward female names.

Comments

[elynittria]

I'm in the same position as you are. I'm currently looking for a new doctor and perusing my health plan's directory. It's so difficult to figure out which to choose!

Like you, I've chosen female doctors in the past, figuring it would be easier to talk to them and that they would take my concerns more seriously. Wrong! It turns out that no doctor really listens to her or his patients. I spent over 2 years trying to tell my (female) PCP that I was seriously ill, but she kept telling me it was all in my head. When I switched doctors, I got to see her notes. At one point, she had written that "patient has looked up a disease on the Internet and is now convinced she has it." Grr! (It turned out that in fact I do have that particular rare disease.)

My next PCP after her was male, but he's no better. Any time I went to see him, he took 3 seconds to listen to my problem, 1 second to dismiss it, and 5 minutes to give me a lecture about the importance of vitamin D. So now I'm looking for a new PCP yet again.

This time around, I'm beginning to think I'll use a criterion other than gender—perhaps choosing randomly or choosing one with a last name that is short and easy to spell (since I'm constantly having to provide my doctor's name to other doctors and medical facilities).

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It turns out that no doctor really listens to her or his patients.

Aww, I wouldn't say that. I love my GI doc and my ob/gyn.

At one point, she had written that "patient has looked up a disease on the Internet and is now convinced she has it."

WHAT. That's really shitty. This is why I'm always paranoid about what they're writing in my chart. :)

[stormwreath.livejournal.com]

According to my friend J, one of the worst doctors she's ever seen was male - arrogant, patronising and didn't take anything she said seriously. (She retaliated by composing a rude song about him...) But one of the best doctors she's ever seen for a gynaecological-type problem was also male; he was careful and considerate of her feelings and did his job properly. So in a way, it's all up to luck.

I suspect the age of the doctor might have a bearing too; if they come from a generation where patients were expected to bow to their wisdom and never question it that would be bad, and it's likely male doctors might be more prone to that kind of attitude. On the other hand, I've heard (anecdotally) that some women doctors can be quite dismissive of patients with 'female'-type complaints because they think, subconsciously, "I've gone through the same sort of thing myself and it's no big deal; so pull yourself together, you big baby!" :-)

Ultimately, I think it's just down to who you're comfortable with. I think most people are probably happier dealing with a doctor of the same sex for more intimate matters... but the qualities of being a good doctor or being an asshole aren't restricted by gender.

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She retaliated by composing a rude song about him...

Ha! Awesome.

And yeah, I think a lot of it is up to luck, which is why I try to read reviews online if there are any. That's how I picked my ob/gyn - I figured a man with great reviews was better than a woman I knew nothing about. :)

I suspect the age of the doctor might have a bearing too; if they come from a generation where patients were expected to bow to their wisdom and never question it that would be bad, and it's likely male doctors might be more prone to that kind of attitude.

Hmm, I could see that, although the worst doctors I've had have been younger ones. I think "bedside manner" may be a lost art, lol.

[frith]

*Looks across the divide* I prefer doctors of the opposite gender if I'm to be probed and my dangly bits groped. I'm cursed with good health, but I did have to resort to the services of the medical profession when I acquired an inguinal hernia. I saw two G.P.'s and a surgeon. One G.P. was female and asked what (I hoped wasn't a loop of intestine) was something that turned out to be my vas deferens. She did not know and she looked miffed that I would ask. I was not impressed. The other G.P. (male) was a little clueless about non-medical biology, but I guess you can't know everything. The surgeon (female) was top notch.

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Yikes! Regardless of what gender my doctor is, I expect them to know what all the parts are!

[shapinglight]

It rather depends on what I'm going to the doctor for. When it comes to more intimate things, I'd much rather see a woman.

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Yeah, I expect that's common. :)

[slaymesoftly]

I grew up with male doctors, so getting used to them wasn't an issue. Having said that, and making allowances for the differences between people of any gender, I would probably assume a woman would pay more attention to me. If I were shopping for a doctor, I'd probably lean towards a woman. Especially for ob/gyn stuff. The only surgeon we've used in the past 30 years (and only twice) is a woman and she's awesome. However, I suspect she'd be awesome if she was a Fyarl demon. It's her, not just her gender, that makes her so. I think.

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Haha, yeah, it takes more than gender to make a great doctor... but sometimes all it takes is sexism to make a crappy one.

[gabrielleabelle]

I usually don't have a preference. I'm so used to seeing doctors, I don't fuss about telling them my issues. Although I've almost always seen male doctors. Not by choice, really. They just happen to be the docs I go to see.

As you know, my new gastro doc is a woman, and I specifically looked for a female doc for the first time with her. I think it's something I resort to when the male docs give me a hard time.

Also, my latest therapist is a guy. I was a bit iffy on that at first. However, he's fab. We get along quite well. Of course, I pretty much just talk about my school issues with him, so I don't talk to him about "womanly" problems. But I don't think it would be a big issue if I did.

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Heh, I was thinking of you a little bit, with your patronizing docs and switching to the female doctor.

I think, in terms of therapy, my issues aren't necessarily "womanly" lol, but I definitely think men are going to have different perspectives on body image, relationships, sex, etc. just because so much is directed at women that men don't have to deal with.

[gabrielleabelle]

True that. Like I said, my therapist is strictly for school issues, so I've never gotten into stuff like body image or the like. At this time, I think I've built up enough of a rapport so that I'd be comfortable discussing it with him, but I've been seeing him on and off for over a year. I can see why you'd be reluctant to go with a male therapist. (For the record, I got assigned a therapist when I went in to my university's counseling center, so I didn't have any control over who I got. That made me crazy nervous, but it's worked out)

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Huh, it actually never occurred to me to try our campus counseling center. I don't really feel like a college student, lol.

Eh, I just checked and apparently they only do short-term counseling and have a 10 session limit. But maybe they could recommend someone, I dunno.

[gabrielleabelle]

Hee! The university counseling center was like a godsend. Free therapy! I'd been paying $100 per session even with insurance previously.

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Ours is not free. :( It's $50 a session (I learned a lot from the 2 minutes I spent on their website, lol) - and I don't have a co-pay with my insurance, so I might as well stick with the original plan.

[diamondtook]

Well, almost all the best doctors I've had have been male, and I've actually felt like the female doctors I've had have been rather patronizing, and have not taken me seriously, but I have a feeling this has less to do with gender and more to do with persons. My best doctor is actually a nurse practitioner. She's my neurologist-itioner ;), and having seen more (male) real neurologists than I can count on one hand, all for legitimate amounts of time, she really is the best. She's like my psychiatrist, friend, GP, and headache-fixer (not to mention hooking me up on the anti-wrinkle drugs- jk- I get botox for migraines) all in one.

I avoid the gynecologist though. :)

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Heh, my favorite "doctor" isn't a doctor, either. She's the physician's assistant who gives me my treatments. :) She very clearly cares about making me better and always takes me seriously.

[pocochina.livejournal.com]

Mmm. I have to say I've had more bluntly damaging experiences with male doctors/therapists in the past few years, especially with mental health issues. Not like "all my female doctors have been good," condescending attitudes and gross laziness seem to basically be par for the course IME, but unfortunately there does seem to be a special contempt that some male doctors have towards young women. (There was the one pediatrician who told me that I should really consider cutting out juice when I was asking her for tips to further my ED, but fuck her, I hope she gets bitten every day by rabid toddlers. Other than her more than ten years ago, all my worst experiences have been with men.)

It might be unfair, but I avoid going to men if I can help it - they will have other patients, I only have so much trust I can put in health care professionals, it's hard enough as is. My current psychiatrist is okay so far and he's a man, but I generally discount male psychotherapists if I have any other options. And male gyno, no, cannot do it.

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Yeah, that's kind of what I'm afraid of with the mental health stuff - it took me forever to work up the courage to go to someone in the first place, and a damaging experience could easily make me quit. Just the thought of having to try a second therapist makes me want to give up. But I did decide on a psychiatrist (based on the criteria of: 1. female, and 2. convenient office) whom I will probably call on Monday...

There was the one pediatrician who told me that I should really consider cutting out juice when I was asking her for tips to further my ED

*is speechless* That ought to be the kind of thing you lose your medical license for.

[deird1]

So far I have no preference - but then, I have never ever seen a doctor for anything related to my girly bits. I think I'd probably want a female doctor for that...

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Heh, that's what I thought, too. But the female doctor was kinda judgy and not nice, and so I ended up going to my mom's ob/gyn (and she goes to a man since she's always gone to a man), and I liked him a lot. My new one is a man, too, and I feel pretty comfortable with him.

[maia]

I've had horrible experiences with doctors of both genders and all ages. I think 90% of all doctors are horrible, and the trick is finding the other 10%.

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Not an easy task....

[quesrahsrah]

My only experience with a doctor is my GP, and then the people at the dermatology clinic where I didn't have a choice.

I'm registered under a male doctor, but I can request an appointment with any other in the surgery, I usually request the same female doctor as I am much more comfortable with her approach than that of the male doctor.
Saying that, the reason I started going to her was because I wanted to go on the pill, and my then boyfriend had dated the male doctor's daughter, so I felt a bit weird going to him. I'm glad I did as she talked me through all my options before deciding on the best variant for me, whereas my friend went to the male doctor and he just prescribed what he thought was best.

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Saying that, the reason I started going to her was because I wanted to go on the pill, and my then boyfriend had dated the male doctor's daughter, so I felt a bit weird going to him.

Heh, yeah, I can see how that would be awkward. :)