Something next to normal, that's the thing I'd like to try

Yeah, that's a good point, too. Xander's anti-demon stance was always a little shaky because of his relationship with Anya, but at least he could say, "Well, she's human now and that's what matters." But realizing that he still loves her, even when she's a demon, even when she's in the midst of a massacre, he really, really can't judge Spike anymore. Also, Buffy's "I have to kill Anya" probably gave him a taste of his own medicine, after all the times he's suggested Buffy should kill Angel or Spike.

I haven't read much of Shadowcast's stuff, but I do remember Sock Puppet, and it's excellent.