first of all, i will say that there's a lot of misinterpretation of kyrumption as Destiny, which it's not. it's two champions meeting in a battlefield recognizing a mutual fate, which they do have: the mission. no one said the fate was each other. it's not. clearly. second, there's this perception in fandom that the entire kyrumption conversation took place because someone needed to TELL angel he loved cordelia, which is silly, because he already loved cordelia and he knew it. between to shanshu in la and the events of the back portion of s2, i'm pretty sure he was drowning in it. BUT, as i imagine is buffy's problem sometimes, it was so different than his relationship with buffy, i honestly don't think he recognized it for what it was until someone told him because angel is an idiot. but that doesn't mean those feelings were falsely manufactured. they've been in motion since day one, and propelled forward, in particular, by To Shanshu in LA (Cordy, I'm going to get you back. I need you back.), everything from Epiphany on in s2 (I just got her back), and Buffy's death (The problem is that I'm okay. I can deal with it.). it's just that it's so different, and this is a man who has been in love ONCE in 250 years. ONCE. so he thinks that's the way it is always supposed to go. and then when he realizes not only that he's in love with her, but that she has spent at this point four years reminding herself over and over again that he's a eunuch in love with Buffy, he tries to get rid of it. Emotional idiot. He can't, because he loves her (I'm more afraid of her dying than she is. What is that?), but that does lead us to Kyrumption conversation number two, which I love because yes:
ANGEL: Stop saying that. (petulant) And stop calling me pastries.
LORNE: You're a man of many limitations, Angel. But you're a man. You got a heart. And Cordelia is a hell of a lady. I mean, if I thought she'd like to wear green, I'd be elbowing you out of the way. But she's out of my league. She's a champion, Angel, old school. And besides, we all know you got a thing for ex-cheerleaders.
ANGEL: What have I got to offer her?
THIS IS HIS PROBLEM. He knows he couldn't love Buffy, he knows he loves Cordelia, he knows that he doesn't have anything to offer her because she's Cordelia and her worth is staggering to him. He doesn't think she would look at him twice. Idiots. Both of them. And the fact that Lorne makes that jibe about Buffy - it guts Angel. He looks like Lorne punched him, and it's not in the "oh, I'm betraying Buffy way" (this comes later, see: could write an essay on Awakening), it's the "we've been here before in some ways, but to compare the two is to compare two incomparable things."
SO IN SUM KYRUMPTION THAT WORD I DO NOT THINK IT MEANS WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS I'M SORRY I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS?
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carisma_sensei
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Date: Aug. 25th, 2010 08:43 pm (UTC)first of all, i will say that there's a lot of misinterpretation of kyrumption as Destiny, which it's not. it's two champions meeting in a battlefield recognizing a mutual fate, which they do have: the mission. no one said the fate was each other. it's not. clearly. second, there's this perception in fandom that the entire kyrumption conversation took place because someone needed to TELL angel he loved cordelia, which is silly, because he already loved cordelia and he knew it. between to shanshu in la and the events of the back portion of s2, i'm pretty sure he was drowning in it. BUT, as i imagine is buffy's problem sometimes, it was so different than his relationship with buffy, i honestly don't think he recognized it for what it was until someone told him because angel is an idiot. but that doesn't mean those feelings were falsely manufactured. they've been in motion since day one, and propelled forward, in particular, by To Shanshu in LA (Cordy, I'm going to get you back. I need you back.), everything from Epiphany on in s2 (I just got her back), and Buffy's death (The problem is that I'm okay. I can deal with it.). it's just that it's so different, and this is a man who has been in love ONCE in 250 years. ONCE. so he thinks that's the way it is always supposed to go. and then when he realizes not only that he's in love with her, but that she has spent at this point four years reminding herself over and over again that he's a eunuch in love with Buffy, he tries to get rid of it. Emotional idiot. He can't, because he loves her (I'm more afraid of her dying than she is. What is that?), but that does lead us to Kyrumption conversation number two, which I love because yes:
THIS IS HIS PROBLEM. He knows he couldn't love Buffy, he knows he loves Cordelia, he knows that he doesn't have anything to offer her because she's Cordelia and her worth is staggering to him. He doesn't think she would look at him twice. Idiots. Both of them. And the fact that Lorne makes that jibe about Buffy - it guts Angel. He looks like Lorne punched him, and it's not in the "oh, I'm betraying Buffy way" (this comes later, see: could write an essay on Awakening), it's the "we've been here before in some ways, but to compare the two is to compare two incomparable things."
SO IN SUM KYRUMPTION THAT WORD I DO NOT THINK IT MEANS WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS I'M SORRY I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS?