Hey, guys, I have standards!

[next_to_normal]

I had another underwhelming match.com date this weekend. Technically, I was supposed to have two (one Saturday and one Sunday), but the second guy never got back to me on when and where he wanted to meet, so... I got my laundry done and watched a movie instead! :)

I've also been emailing with this new guy who is seriously the male version of me, it's kinda creepy. I am halfway convinced someone is just playing a practical joke on me, lol, that's how much we have in common. And of course - no picture, which always makes me suspicious.

But! The benefit of all this dating is that I have discovered I do indeed have standards beyond "wants to date me" and "doesn't kill puppies." I have, in fact, rejected numerous guys for not meeting said standards! 

1. Must show up to a first date looking presentable, preferably not in sweats.
2. Must be capable of discussing politics calmly and rationally. (Progressives preferred, but all viewpoints welcome as long as they are not delivered in diatribe form.)
3. Must not interpret comments about homework assignments as political statements.
4. Must not be a marathon runner.
5. Must not be boring.
6. Must like cats.
7. Must not mock me for being a cat person.
8. Must not require prompt responses to emails.
9. Must compose emails using proper punctuation and spelling.
10. Must not try to kiss me on the first date.
11. Must not try to kiss me on any subsequent date without permission.
12. Must not ask probing sexual questions without ever having met me.
13. Must be physically attractive, even if it makes me feel shallow.
14. Must not exhibit desperate or obsessive behavior.
15. Must be able to pick up nonverbal cues regarding my level of interest.
16. Must share some similar TV/movie interests, so as to better understand my quotes and references.
17. Must share a similar sense of humor and not persist in telling jokes that I don't find funny.
18. Must be tolerant of my perpetual lateness.
19. Must not take up an inordinate amount of my time. 
20. Must not live outside the Beltway, unless he is willing to come to me all the time, because I refuse to drive out there anymore!
21. Must have an appreciation for musical theater, or at least pretend to.
22. Must not bring up ex-girlfriends on the first date.
 

Comments

[mikeda.livejournal.com]

Curious about #4.

[next_to_normal]

Haha, that was date #2. Basically, his profile made it sound like we had a lot in common, but as it turned out, he pretty much had a one-track mind (which, I gather, is because marathons require a lot of dedication, apparently to the exclusion of all else). Everything he expressed interest in somehow tied back to running or sports.

For example:

Me: "So, you like to travel?"
Him: "Yeah, I'm going to San Francisco for a marathon, and then New York for that marathon. I also like to go to Florida in the winter because it's better for running."
Me: "..."

[gabrielleabelle]

Addition to #2: Also, not libertarians. *iz prejudiced against libertarians*

5. *nods*

6. *nods again*

7. Damn straight.

19. Yep.

Actually, I'm down with all of these. I approve.

[next_to_normal]

Haha, I'm down with libertarian prejudice!

[urania_calliope]

Our culture has gotten so weird about looks. You MUST look this way to be attractive... But if you care about looking that way you're shallow.

I don't see how wanting someone to look a certain way makes you at all shallow. We all have our particular taste.

Then again, someone once called me racist because I said I didn't find Asian men sexually attractive at all.

[next_to_normal]

Haha, I was just having this discussion with my therapist! Like, I feel bad rejecting guys based on their profile picture, because I feel like I ought to be attracted to their ~personality, not their looks. But then what happens is I go on dates with these guys, and they try to kiss me and I run away and it's all awkward.

So really, it's best to avoid that, even if I feel shallow, lol.

[eilowyn1]

I often feel guilty about it, but physical attraction is pretty high up there in my priorities. I have to imagine wanting to kiss them, or it doesn't work at all. And butterflies. I NEED to feel butterflies, because otherwise I just feel ambivalent.

[next_to_normal]

SERIOUSLY. This has been my problem, I think. I DON'T want to kiss them, and I feel no butterflies, and I'm totally ambivalent, which does not make me want a second date.

But then again, I haven't had true butterflies since college, so I wonder sometimes if I'm even still capable of it.

[mcmegan]

I don't think it's shallow. I think you need to be physically attracted to them at least a little.

[stormwreath.livejournal.com]

Well, I fail #20 (and #13) so that rules me out. :( On an up-note, I have never in my life killed a puppy! \o/

[next_to_normal]

Haha, fortunately I make an exception for guys who live in London and/or have British accents! :)

[stormwreath.livejournal.com]

Yay! Kills a puppy in celebration!

[mikeda.livejournal.com]

So you're cutting way back.

Oh wait that's kittens, not puppies. Never mind.

:-)