Everybody poops

[next_to_normal]

Heh, so I was very intrigued to see this article on women's bodily functions linked at ontd_feminism today. It seems ironic to put this discussion under a cut, given that the whole point is "we should be able to talk about this," but I'll spare you.

Confession time: Ever since I was a kid, I've had bathroom stage fright. I am one of those people who CANNOT PEE if there's someone in the stall next to me. And up until recently, I absolutely would not poop in public.

Let me tell you, it is remarkable how much an intestinal condition will snap you right out of that shit (no pun intended). It's amazing the things you can get comfortable with when you don't have a choice. My body will do what it needs to do, and it doesn't care if I'm not at home.

Thanks to the diagnosis process I went through, I have gotten bizarrely comfortable (maybe too much so, lol) with talking about bodily functions. I don't have a choice. I have had to talk about it in excruciating detail with my doctors, my parents, and occasionally my friends (I am telling you, when you vomit on someone in public and they STILL LIKE YOU the next day, this is a true friend).

But it's also still an incredibly awkward thing. Because even telling someone I have Crohn's usually necessitates an explanation of what it is and what it does, which I often end up skirting around by saying, "It causes unpleasant intestinal things," and let them fill in the details in their imagination. How soon in a relationship is it appropriate to spring the "vomiting and diarrhea" discussion on someone, lol? I don't know.

I remember when I was in the first stage of this whole deal (the C. diff infection), reading in a discussion forum about how shameful it is for a lot of people to talk about their condition, because it involves gross bodily functions. And that can be incredibly isolating, because you can't really tell people how you feel. Sometimes, when someone asks how you're doing, you would like to actually tell them, rather than wave it off with, "Eh, kinda crappy," (which is, heh, often more literal than they realize). But it's just too icky for most people, which is why I've found I tend to latch on to people with other intestinal problems and we have this crazy "OMG ME TOO!" conversation, and it's such a relief to finally just be honest, you know?

So... yeah. Moral of the story, don' t be afraid to talk about poop. Everybody does it.

Comments

[manoah.livejournal.com]

I feel for you.

My mother loves, loves, loves. to talk about her poop. We used to say phone calls from her were the "poop report". The sad part is she was a healthy, uninfected woman with a BM fetish.

Now that she has dementia and is not going as well, I get detailed (and I mean detailed!) reports of her poop and how she took it out of the toilet to make sure it was ok. And with the dementia I get to hear it several times. Bleh.

[next_to_normal]

Eeek! That might be going a little too far in the other direction, lol. When I was sick, my mother and I did go into explicit detail, because it was an indicator of what the hell was going on inside me, and I have to admit, it felt really, really weird to have to think that much about my poop. (Of course, my mother was like, "Bah. I changed your diapers. YOU CAN'T SCARE ME." lol)

[urania-calliope.livejournal.com]

I have a very shy bladder which often leads to painful situations where I HAVE TO GO but I'm too shy to. I had a terrible experience recently where I tried using the bathroom at work and someone kept knocking on the door even though I kept saying "occupied!" I could even hear the woman complaining to herself about how long I was taking.

For the first and so far only time of my life I desperately want to let a big shit go so she could enjoy the public bathroom as much as I was at that moment.

[next_to_normal]

LOL! That would be appropriate revenge.

Sometimes, when I'm already in the bathroom and someone goes into the stall next to me, and I can hear total silence, I just want to be like, "It's okay, honey. I understand."

[ladyofthelog.livejournal.com]

I have moderate IBS and have a number of friends with similar "angry poop," as we like to call it. I've had one boyfriend who was traumatized by this, but seriously? I'm going to talk about it. It's just poop!

[next_to_normal]

"Angry poop" - Hee! I used to call it a "violent poop" sometimes. I have yet to be in a relationship since it started, which makes me curious to see how comfortable I'll be with a guy.

[alexeia-drae.livejournal.com]

I married the son of an OB-GYN and a nurse. There is NOTHING about bodily functions that the whole family does not find to be normal dinner conversation, or the subject of comedy, be it man or woman. In fact, before we were even DH kind of shocked me by going through the steps of how to perform a pap smear...

Reading about how some people with digestive problems are too embarrassed to go to their doctor and get treatment made me realize what a healthy attitude they had to it, even if it is a bit shocking at first. But a lot of people suffer with painful, sometimes deadly conditions because of the shame involved in talking about bowl movements. I think it ties into the Puritan culture America was endowed with that we're still trying to free ourselves from.

In general I try to avoid public bathrooms, more because I'm scared of germs then of anyone hearing me (growing up I did fear that a toilet monster would come out and chase me when I flushed, but I grew out of that). Now that I'm pregnant, when I gotta pee I gotta pee, so I'm getting used to public bathrooms.

[next_to_normal]

LOL, I ran into the same sort of thing with my family. My cousin and her fiance are both nurses, and his sister's a doctor, so there's really nothing too embarrassing for them. And I'm the one going, "Um, maybe not appropriate Christmas dinner conversation?" But it's definitely not the norm.

But a lot of people suffer with painful, sometimes deadly conditions because of the shame involved in talking about bowl movements.

You know, one of the things I read on the C. diff forums was that even DOCTORS didn't want to talk about it sometimes. They'd be uncomfortable listening to people describe their symptoms, which is like, way to make the patient feel even worse. This is your job, get over it.

[silverusagi]

I hate talking about stuff like that, LOL. Not because it's gross, necessarily, just because I feel like it's no one else's business. Like if my stomach is upset, I try to avoid telling my mom because then I'll get the third degree. "You think it's something you ate? Just cramps? Is it that time of month? What sort of pain? Sharp pain? Having diarrhea?" And it's just like "It doesn't matter, I'll be fine tomorrow, leave me alone, it's a little thing, it's none of your business!" But then, this sort of goes for health in general for me. It's not that I'm embarrassed or anything. I just feel like it's not their business. But then, there are lots of things that I feel aren't other people's business. I get annoyed when people ask my weight (and I'm pretty thin). Why do they need to know? When I was a teenager, my grandma asked every now and then if I had started my period yet. Why do you need to know? My parents don't even know I wear glasses to drive. Because then it would turn into a whole thing of "what's your vision?" and "let's see your glasses!" every time I saw a realtive for the next six months. I realize I am slightly Weird. I'm sure this would only intensify if I had a health problem. I'd discuss the nitty gritty details with doctors, but it's just not my relatives' business. Also, I hate being the center of attention in any way, and I hate being the topic of conversation.

[next_to_normal]

Heh. You know, we never did tell my grandmother I was sick for that very reason. My parents were afraid she'd call me every day and worry about things that were none of her business.

[blackfrancine.livejournal.com]

I had a discussion not too long ago about "poop standoffs": two women are in a public restroom; both have to poop, but neither one wants to go with the other in the room. So they are each waiting each other out.

I've been involved in more of these than I care to count. It's pretty hilarious actually. I always lose--and by lose, I mean give up and leave without pooping. But now whenever this happens, I want to have some sort of phrase to yell under the stall to declare my intention to emerge victorious from the poop standoff du jour. But I'm pretty sure that'd result in me getting fired or arrested or something.

[next_to_normal]

Haha, I know exactly what you mean! I've totally done that, too. Of course, being sick pretty much got me over it, since that poop was coming out whether I wanted it to or not.

[deird1]

What you need to do is find someone with little kids. Poo suddenly becomes a standard topic of conversation, and not the least bit strange to talk about.

(My sister once had Alex ask VERY LOUDLY "Auntie K, do you have a penis?" while at the supermarket. And she somehow had to keep a straight face and answer this perfectly reasonable question as if it wasn't at all odd. Once you've done that, poo holds no fear.)




I was finding it very strange reading that discussion with everyone talking about "poop". It's "poo". Is "poop" what all Americans call it, or something?

[next_to_normal]

LOL, yeah, most Americans say "poop," I think. I use "poo" occasionally, because I think it sounds cuter, lol. Of course, when I was a kid, we had all kinds of names for it... "stinkies," "number two," and "poopies" were the ones I used most.

[gingerwall.livejournal.com]

People do use "poo" sometimes instead of "poop," and it depends on the part of speech. In my experience, I'd say the split is about 40% / 60% for as a verb and 5% / 95% as a noun.

[petzipellepingo.livejournal.com]

(I am telling you, when you vomit on someone in public and they STILL LIKE YOU the next day, this is a true friend).


My Mom threw up all over my Dad and the taxi they were in while dating and he still married her.

So... yeah. Moral of the story, don' t be afraid to talk about poop. Everybody does it.

And if you don't, you're in equally big trouble as well. So too much or too little, either one can be a huge issue on someone's life.

[next_to_normal]

Heh, very true. When I was a kid, I never used to like telling my mom I was constipated, either.

[diebirchen.livejournal.com]

Yup! Hang in there, sweetie!

[next_to_normal]

Heh, thanks!

[pocochina.livejournal.com]

even telling someone I have Crohn's usually necessitates an explanation of what it is and what it does

Chronic conditions are so the worst. My friends don't ask me how I'm doing unless they want a fifteen minute lecture on how circadean rhythms work. Or don't! As the case may be.

I find I am really uncomfortable talking about poo, but totally nonchalant hearing or reading about it. Apparently other people's poo is fine but mine is just profane? Dunno. Which was super fun when I had to go to the ER because a side effect of one of my many sleeping pills is severe constipation which can become intestinal blockages (fortunately it didn't, I dealt with it early enough, but WHY DOES NO ONE WARN YOU ABOUT THESE THINGS?!?!) and I had to explain why I couldn't go into work the rest of the week. "Ummmm....medication complications? I'll be working from home?"

[next_to_normal]

because a side effect of one of my many sleeping pills is severe constipation which can become intestinal blockages

It boggles my mind sometimes how they make drugs where the side effects are worse than the condition being treated.

(I also thought it was wildly amusing that most of my medicines came with side effects of nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. I'm like, "But I've already got that! How will I know if it's working?")

[jnb71976.livejournal.com]

I'm an OB nurse - poop is no big deal to me. I deal with bloody vaginas on a daily basis and it's like paperwork. There is not a bodily function that can squick me. Wait, I take that back. Phlegm is the sickest thing ever and will make me want to hurl. But poop? Pfft!

Just so I can stand in solidarity with you, I'll confess that I get hormone-induced diarrhea every month right before my period. It's fun.

[next_to_normal]

Heh, we were just talking about the period-induced pooping on the ontd_feminism thread. I used to get diarrhea when I had my period, but it stopped once I went on the pill.

[fangfaceandrea.livejournal.com]

heee One of my dearest friends and I tend to bond over the fact that, contrary to you, we can't number 2 like what we guess normal people do; we go on and on about the advantages of Green tea, or how much fiber we need to eat. It's kinda liberating :)

[next_to_normal]

Haha, yeah, my mother's all about the Bran Flakes. Apparently, I take after my father's digestive system.

[gabrielleabelle.livejournal.com]

This post made me giggle. I just usually tell people I have "stomach issues" that are "kinda icky" and leave it at that.

I'm seeing a new gastro doc next week for a second opinion to see if he'll make any more progress than the first one. I'm getting a little irked at going over a year with no substantial improvement (and lots of expensive meds and diagnostic procedures). Grrr!

[next_to_normal]

Gah! Yeah, a year is a looong time to go with icky stomach issues. (Hey, it just occurred to me that this is the one-year anniversary of when I started getting sick.) Good luck with the new doc!

[dragonflylady77.livejournal.com]

My grandma used to make us put toilet paper all around the toilet seat when we had to go in a public toilet...
I was a silent pee-er for a long time.
Then I grew up and I had kids and when your 3 year old tells you she needs to pee or poo, you need to find a toilet stat. And I found that when you are pregnant and need to pee and can't find a public bathroom you'll almost certainly find a nice shop assistant that will let you use the staff bathroom...

One of my friends has an 'unpleasant intestinal' condition that I can't remember what it is but it's not Crohn's or IBS and she carries a card in her wallet saying in case of that kind of emergency, she has the right to use any toilet in any store or something to that effect.

=P

[next_to_normal]

One of my friends has an 'unpleasant intestinal' condition that I can't remember what it is but it's not Crohn's or IBS and she carries a card in her wallet saying in case of that kind of emergency, she has the right to use any toilet in any store or something to that effect.

Haha, that kind of sounds cool, although I might be embarrassed to have to whip it out.

[dragonflylady77.livejournal.com]

When you gotta to, you gotta go!!

^_^

[gingerwall.livejournal.com]

I work with animals and elementary school children, and so about once a week I have to deal with some hedgehog/skink/turtle/frog/alligator going to the bathroom while I am carrying it around the classroom. We always just say, "hey, raise your hand if you poop" and then question the kids who don't until they do. They usually fess up pretty quickly. :)

I was so happy when they remodeled the bathrooms in one section the zoo and added a nice, colorful sign in front that says "Everybody gotta poop somewhere."

[next_to_normal]

LOL, animals and small children seem to be the best cure for poop-phobia.