Male Feminists?

[next_to_normal]

So, the other day, gabrielleabelle made a post questioning the labeling of Angel as a feminist icon. The general consensus, not surprisingly, is that Angel is NOT the feminist icon we are looking for. But it did make me wonder - are there ANY male feminist icons in popular culture? I can't think of any.

Okay. "Icon" is a pretty high bar. How about just a portrayal of a male feminist character? Any medium. How many can you think of?

I'm also including gingerwall's list of criteria from the same post, just for reference. Your criteria may be different (I expect the third one is particularly difficult to find in pop culture, which might eliminate everybody, lol), but I thought it might be helpful for people who want guidelines.

Here would be my qualifications for the Best Male Feminist Role Model in All of Everything Ever:
- Let the women in his life be autonomous agents and make their own decisions.
- Listen to and carefully consider what women have to say about issues that affect both of them.
- Be aware of how organizations that he is a part of contribute to the oppression of the women in his life and work to change or protest those cultures, all the while getting feedback from those women to make sure he is accurately reflecting their lived experience.
- Encourage the women in his life to defy traditional gender roles and take on powerful positions, even at the expense of his own control and power.

Comments

[blackfrancine.livejournal.com]

Ha! It took me a while, but I've got 2.
1. Lloyd Dobbler (John Cusack) in Say Anything. He is 100% willing to put Diane's ambitions before any of his own. Also, even when heartbroken, he refused to stoop to misogynist behavior like name calling and revenge fucking (though his male friends were encouraging him to do so). While they were together, he respected Diane's opinions about things that they differed on--and tried things out with an open mind. And when they broke up, though he sought her out several times, it never really crossed over into creepy behavior, and he did eventually stop contacting her altogether. He also supported the other women in his life: his sister and his two best friends--encouraging them away from behavior that was leading them to be emotionally dependent on men.

2. Schmendrick the Magician from The Last Unicorn. He respects Amalthea/the unicorn--allows her to defend herself even when she seems really vulnerable/scared. He encourages her to do what's best for her in the long run (ie becoming a unicorn again) even though it subverts the standard heteronormative paradigm (ie she has to walk away from a relationship with Prince Lear).

That's all I got.

[next_to_normal]

Heh, I have no memory of Say Anything, but SCHMENDRICK! Yay! *has a total obsession with The Last Unicorn*

[angearia.livejournal.com]

I totally have The Last Unicorn on DVD!

[next_to_normal]

OMG!!! CAN I COME OVER AND WATCH??

LOL, I rented it once in college... it wasn't quite as awesome as I'd remembered (the singing is kind of, um, off-key sometimes?), but I was still giddy over it.

[blackfrancine.livejournal.com]

I have it on VHS, but I don't have a VCR anymore. So for the last few years I've been without the Lady Amalthea. But thanks to the wonders of technology, it is on my computer RIGHT EFFING NOW! Woo hoo!

[blackfrancine.livejournal.com]

I also forgot to point out that in The Last Unicorn (which is the best movie EVER, btw) Schmendrick is encouraging Amalthea/the unicorn to essentially leave him behind. So, he is personally losing someone that brings him joy, but he's encouraging her to leave because it's A)better for her, and B) because she's going to LIBERATE ALL THE UNICORNS! She's literally changing the world. Yay! Unicorns FTW.

[next_to_normal]

Dude, she is like the Buffy of unicorns!!!!

[blackfrancine.livejournal.com]

Wait. I thought of another.

3. Johnny Castle (Patrick Swayze) from Dirty Dancing. This may be controversial. But whatever. He was attracted to Baby because she was self possessed, and she wanted to do important things. He encouraged her to not be squashed into a box (or a corner)--pulling her out to allow her to show off all of her abilities to the world--doing so meant he wouldn't get his bonus check. So, he personally took a financial loss (and probably lost any employer recommendations) in order to help empower Baby. In addition, he supported Penny emotionally, never slut shaming her, and supporting her right to choose what to do with her own body (despite what the law allowed).

Anyway, his firm anit-slut-shaming, pro-choice, and pro-strong women stances are enough for me to consider him a feminist icon.

[angearia.livejournal.com]

Oooh, yeah, I like including Johnny!

[next_to_normal]

Haha, another movie I haven't seen (I KNOW).

[eilowyn.livejournal.com]

NUMBER ONE ON YOUR NETFLIX ACCOUNT IMMEDIATELY! IT'S ALMOST UNAMERICAN TO BE BORN IN THE EIGHTIES AND HAVE NEVER SEEN DIRTY DANCING!!

[blackfrancine.livejournal.com]

What?! Get thee to a Blockbuster. Wait. Do Blockbusters still exist? Get thee to your Netflix queue.

Seriously. I think that my early obsession with Dirty Dancing may actually be the reason I'm a feminist. And there's dancing! And pretty dresses.

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

Don't feel bad! I've seen tons of movies, but I haven't seen it either, largely because I never thought I'd be interested until all of a sudden in the last six months or so, everybody's all "DIRTY DANCING IS SO FEMINIST!" Now I kind of want to watch it.

[pocochina.livejournal.com]

I would never have thought of him, but you're absolutely right. It's a very specific working-class feminism too, which you don't see very much, and I like that.

[blackfrancine.livejournal.com]

Yes to working-class feminism. I almost mentioned Dan Connor from Roseanne as well for a similar type of feminism. But that show got really weird in its last couple of seasons, so I wasn't sure.

[eilowyn.livejournal.com]

Shit, you're gonna get me quoting Dirty Dancing now, which eventually becomes a household-wide affair, as everyone knows it's Mama's all-time favorite movie. She won't take calls from her kids if it's on VH-1

Sylvia?
Yes, Mickey?
How do you call your loverboy?
I say c'mere, loverboy?
And if he doesn't answer?
Oh, loverboy . . .
And if he still doesn't answer?
I simply say baby, oh, baby, my sweet baby, you're the one!

(Okay, got that out of my system.)

But yes, very, very good example. Bucking the heteronormative, supporting self-possessed women and avoidin slut bashing while being there for his friends who he isn't even sleeping with? Empowering.

I love you for this one, too.

[blackfrancine.livejournal.com]

Yes! Amalthea + Schmedrick = Buffy + Xander (and/or Willow)! So true.

[jnb71976.livejournal.com]

Well, Johnny Castle belongs on every list of awesome ever. I agree with you on all points.

ETA: And thanks for helping me decide on a sunday afternoon movie! :D

[streussal.livejournal.com]

YES! You've helped me understand why I adore this movie so much.

[scarlett2u.livejournal.com]

Good call on Lloyd Dobler. I totally agree with your assessment on that. Remember the part where Lili Taylor's character says something to the effect of, "Every girl needs a LLoyd Dobler"? So true!

[eilowyn.livejournal.com]

I love you forever for mentioning Schmendrick. Any mention of Schmendrick is worth eternal love, but Schmendrick as feminist icon? Is awesomeness personified. And I will compare his relationship with Amalthea to that of Buffy and Xander, just to add some relevance, though if Amalthea fell in love with a formerly evil vampire who fought and won his soul for her, I don't think Schmendrick would do as much snarky, flailing.

Schmendrick is actually Willow and Xander combined, isn't he?

*is totally now overthinking The Last Unicorn*

[next_to_normal]

if Amalthea fell in love with a formerly evil vampire who fought and won his soul for her, I don't think Schmendrick would do as much snarky, flailing.

ROFL I love this comment!

[jnb71976.livejournal.com]

Lloyd Dobbler! I love you for thinking of him. He actually embodies everything this post is about. *needs a Lloyd icon*

[gabrielleabelle.livejournal.com]

SCHMENDRICK!!!

*must rewatch that movie now*

[devilscrayon.livejournal.com]

Lloyd Dobbler! That is a good one. I knew there was a reason I loved that movie :)