This is how I feel today

"I will KILL PEOPLE TODAY, Leo! I will kill people with this cricket bat, which was given to me by Her Royal Majesty Elizabeth Windsor, and then I will KILL THEM AGAIN with my own hands!"

(Except my plan involves a helicopter and a volcano. Much more elegant.)

I swear to God, if it weren't for the cupcake truck outside keeping me sane, I'd have quit my fucking job.