Well, there's certainly different contexts, but in both cases, Buffy is getting down on herself - for different reasons, sure, but the bottom line is that she's in need of a morale boost. Spike and Riley both respond by reiterating their love for her (be it present or past), they both admire her strength, they both make an "opposites" reference - best/worst, up/down - to show that Buffy's had her good days and bad days, and she's just at a low point in her life right now, but they know she will overcome this, because she's "a hell of a woman." And in both cases, Buffy takes that advice and does what she needs to do.
Frankly, it comes across to me as a rather condescending statement, as in "get your life together."
Hmmm... I don't see it as condescending. I see it as encouraging - telling her she CAN get her life together, even though she feels like she can't. Buffy's clearly in need of a pep talk (and a swift kick in the pants), and Riley delivers.
Later on, Buffy dumps Spike.
Well - and I say this as a certified Spuffy fan - I don't think that's a bad thing. :P That relationship with Spike was terribly destructive and unhealthy, and I'd rather see them apart than together like that.
ETA: Re: Buffy's apology to Riley - I agree that sucks. I don't think Buffy owes Riley anything, but I don't see it as a response to this speech. I think she's believed she owes Riley an apology ever since she watched his helicopter fly away. Whether she deserved it or not, I think she blamed herself for Riley leaving, and so this was finally the chance to say what she wanted to. I don't think she said it just because of what he said to her.
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Frankly, it comes across to me as a rather condescending statement, as in "get your life together."
Hmmm... I don't see it as condescending. I see it as encouraging - telling her she CAN get her life together, even though she feels like she can't. Buffy's clearly in need of a pep talk (and a swift kick in the pants), and Riley delivers.
Later on, Buffy dumps Spike.
Well - and I say this as a certified Spuffy fan - I don't think that's a bad thing. :P That relationship with Spike was terribly destructive and unhealthy, and I'd rather see them apart than together like that.
ETA: Re: Buffy's apology to Riley - I agree that sucks. I don't think Buffy owes Riley anything, but I don't see it as a response to this speech. I think she's believed she owes Riley an apology ever since she watched his helicopter fly away. Whether she deserved it or not, I think she blamed herself for Riley leaving, and so this was finally the chance to say what she wanted to. I don't think she said it just because of what he said to her.