I don't see the two as being completely similar - they're saying two different things.
In essence, Riley is telling Buffy that she is a great person in a bad situation. He's also telling her that he's aware that with his great life in comparison to hers, he knows he's making it worse. Frankly, it comes across to me as a rather condescending statement, as in "get your life together."
By comparison, Spike is telling her what she means to him, which is something wonderful. She's wonderful because she tries so hard at what she does, both failing and succeeding, and keeps going.
There's also the consideration of what the situation was, before those two statements. Buffy was explaining her "incredible patheticness" to Riley. And Riley was telling Buffy that her life sucks - in bed with an "idiot," in the color orange, smelling of burgers. After his speech, she responds with an apology for their breakup. Which kind of sucks, in my opinion, given the way he treated her and gave her that ultimatum. And then, wife in tow, Riley leaves. Later on, Buffy dumps Spike.
In "Touched," Buffy has a long self-pitying monologue about her lack of connection with anyone that tries. She then pisses Spike off by telling him that the only reason he chased her and went through the trials he did was because she was unattainable. He answers back with what she really means to him. She responds by asking him to hold her, trying for connection.
Or maybe I'm just biased. Sorry for rambling on for so long!
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In essence, Riley is telling Buffy that she is a great person in a bad situation. He's also telling her that he's aware that with his great life in comparison to hers, he knows he's making it worse. Frankly, it comes across to me as a rather condescending statement, as in "get your life together."
By comparison, Spike is telling her what she means to him, which is something wonderful. She's wonderful because she tries so hard at what she does, both failing and succeeding, and keeps going.
There's also the consideration of what the situation was, before those two statements. Buffy was explaining her "incredible patheticness" to Riley. And Riley was telling Buffy that her life sucks - in bed with an "idiot," in the color orange, smelling of burgers. After his speech, she responds with an apology for their breakup. Which kind of sucks, in my opinion, given the way he treated her and gave her that ultimatum. And then, wife in tow, Riley leaves. Later on, Buffy dumps Spike.
In "Touched," Buffy has a long self-pitying monologue about her lack of connection with anyone that tries. She then pisses Spike off by telling him that the only reason he chased her and went through the trials he did was because she was unattainable. He answers back with what she really means to him. She responds by asking him to hold her, trying for connection.
Or maybe I'm just biased. Sorry for rambling on for so long!