next_to_normal: (whatting a what)
Legit just came across a guy on Match who says he wants to get to know a date in person, "Preferably deep in the woods or in a dark alley, because I'm romantic like that."



THAT IS LITERALLY THE START OF A MURDER MYSTERY "well, she went off to meet a blind date and never came back and six weeks later they found her body in the woods"


(Part of me wants to believe it's an attempt to be funny or satirical, but I CANNOT TELL.)


Sep. 6th, 2017 10:50 pm
next_to_normal: Piper sitting on the floor in solitary with her knees pulled up to her chest (Piper in solitary)
So, the Drama Llama is still trying to contact me. He texted me a few times after I noped out, and I didn't respond and deleted his number. Now he's messaging me through Match and apparently still wants another chance.


Like, he's probably not a bad guy, but I don't have time for that kind of shit. If I wanted to spend time deciphering confusing mixed messages and maneuvering around other people's self-esteem issues, I'd go back to middle school. Communicate like a motherfucking adult if you want an adult relationship.

The hilarious part is that I only really went back to Match because I have a wedding coming up in November, and I really didn't want to go by myself because I have been to, like, 7 weddings with this same group of people and never had a date and now they're almost all married and it sucks being the last one who's not? So I was like, well, if I start dating someone in the summer, it wouldn't be weird to bring them to a wedding in November? And then I got the invite last week and I didn't even get a plus-one, so I guess I am going by myself whether I'm single or not?

Now I feel less pressure to be dating someone, I guess. But I still sort of don't even want to go to the wedding. And Match is horrible but I still have three and a half more months to go because I paid for it already. Ugh.

Hashtag I hate everything.
next_to_normal: (Default)
I've actually been on Match for two months and this is only my first date, so I guess it took longer than it seems, but I only just promised you hilarious (or horrible) dating stories three days ago, and... I am desperately in need of my gifs. (Damn you, Photobucket! *shakes fist*)

This isn't applicable to this particular story, but this is the kind of guy who apparently is single in DC. DO YOU SEE WHAT I AM UP AGAINST HERE, PEOPLE? I MAY AS WELL JUST ADOPT FIVE MORE CATS AND BE DONE WITH IT. (On the other hand, I kind of want to be BFFs with all those ladies: "I'm stealing his dates and making them my friends and I'm SO HERE FOR IT," lmao.)

Read more... )


Aug. 20th, 2017 07:59 pm
next_to_normal: (Hunger Games)
Been a while. I spent my summer flailing and screaming and anticipating the end of the world, how about you?

My health still sucks, although that's mostly unrelated to our impending doom. Basically, I still have Crohn's, and while surgery alleviated the worst pain, I'm now discovering all sorts of new things that a year and a half on opioids was masking, like constant diarrhea and joint pain. Whee! I can still only manage to eat vegetables about once a week, and I haven't really attempted alcohol in any realistic quantity.

In other news, I am match-dot-comming again. I might even go on an actual date this time. I am still bitter that my previous (hilarious) reaction posts are now basically toast because all my gifs were on photobucket. I may have to describe my experiences using ACTUAL WORDS from now on (the horror!).

Um, I cooked things? Some of these things were a long time ago, like the Sticky Lemon Cake I made for my dad for Father's Day. This cake is SO good, would make again, but it totally does NOT fit in an 8-inch round pan. It did not even fit in the 8x3 loaf pan I used instead, because of the editor's note and all the comments about it. So... use a bigger pan than that. And also cook it for longer than 30 minutes, like closer to 50. Seriously, does no one actually try these recipes before posting them to make sure they work?

Like this Robinson Cove Crab Salad, which is really more of a dip, and that's even before you account for the fact that it was super watery and I had to literally strain it before eating. I don't know why it was so watery, the only liquid in it is lemon juice and it's not that much. It's also pretty bland. We ate it while my parents were here, and my mom was like, "Eh, not bad," and then dumped a bunch of spices in. (She suggested Old Bay, which I didn't have, so I think we ended up just using ginger, paprika, and nutmeg, which were the components of Old Bay I had.) 

One recipe that actually did work was Prosciutto-Stuffed Chicken. Setting aside the fact that the supermarket only had chicken breasts the size of a football and so three of them managed to last me six meals. (I cut the rest of the recipe in half.) But I didn't even mind eating the leftovers for a week. I used asparagus, not broccoli, because it's friendlier to my digestive system, and honestly felt like the ratio of rice to asparagus was a little high, but more green vegetables probably wouldn't have done me any good anyway.

I also made No-Bake S'mores Bars, which were good. Fair warning, though: these fuckers get VERY hard when you refrigerate them, and then when you take 'em out of the fridge, there's, like, a 30-second window between "break your teeth" and "melty chocolate mess" in which you must consume them. 
next_to_normal: (Default)
So, we all remember the guy who was allergic to making plans, right? We should, it was only a week ago, don't tell me your short-term memory is that bad. Well, this is STILL GOING ON because it turns out this is a dude who does not know when to let it go.

Read more... )
next_to_normal: (Annie scream)
Well hey, we haven't had a horrendous online dating story in a while! Mostly because I let my account expire and started planning my future as a crazy cat lady. But now [personal profile] per_aspera_ad_astra is all, like, sickeningly happy with some guy she met on there, making her the second of my college friends to have success on that site, so back I go. This is my first attempt.

Read more... )
next_to_normal: (Erica pensive)
[personal profile] next_to_normal: meh, I was pondering whether to try the dating sites again
[personal profile] per_aspera_ad_astra: the up side is, it gives you something to do when you are bored at work
[personal profile] next_to_normal: well, so does tumblr
and the guys are way hotter
unfortunately, I have approximately 0% chance of dating them...

[personal profile] per_aspera_ad_astra: i just messaged someone bc of the tv shows they said they like
i'm grasping at straws, haha
[personal profile] next_to_normal: not at all
I find that tv shows are my number one requirement in a relationship

Am kind of in a "booo everything sucks and I fail at being human" place right now, for various reasons, which means I am being antisocial and unproductive and making icons/picspams all the time because I like people better when I can edit them.

In other news, 20-minute Homeland preview! Also, an interview with Mandy Patinkin, in which I am pleased to learn that he shares my opinion of crime procedurals, lol.

In other other news, why am I not at TIFF? Basically every actor I've ever liked had a movie there this year and everybody keeps tweeting about it and making me jealous.
next_to_normal: (imaginary men are best)
As part of my renewed effort at making this dating thing work, I've been advised to "know what I want." I mean, when I try to create a wish list of the qualities/characteristics that I want my ideal guy to have, I typically get as far as "intelligent, good sense of humor... uh... likes Buffy?" and give up. I am all like, "I DON'T KNOOOOOOW. I DON'T HAVE A ~TYPE." Even though I totally do. I just don't really know what it is?

But, as we all know, I have FAR TOO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. So I figured, maybe that's a place to start? Figure out what I like about these particular characters I envisage as my future husbands, and see what they have in common!

Read more... )
next_to_normal: (srsly?)
Okay, I need y'all to tell me if I'm weird or not. So, recently I went on two dates, and BOTH guys texted me the next day with "hey, how was your day?" type messages. I doubt it's a coincidence, and I suspect it's some sort of post-first date etiquette that means, "I want to go out again, but I'm afraid of outright rejection, so I'm going to send you an innocuous text message, and if you respond, I'll know you're interested."

This bothers me for a couple reasons. First, of course, is the fact that I've only been on one date with them, so I doubt that they really care how my day was, and texting me only reinforces that belief.

See, "how was your day?" is one of those questions, where, if you really want to know, it's not a one-word answer. It's a funny story about the stupid thing your boss did, or a proud retelling of your success at the big meeting. But most of the time, to quote Elena Gilbert, "When people ask you... they don't really want an answer." And asking via text message suggests to me that you don't really want an answer, because text messages typically solicit the kind of short answers like "good," "boring," "busy," that don't really tell you anything.

Which is the other reason I'm bothered. This is the part where I may be weird, because I do not like having conversations over text message. I know it's the thing now, but I'm just not a big texter. It's fine for quick updates - "Meet for lunch at 12:30?" or "Meeting ran late, on my way" or "We're out of milk, buy more" sort of things - but if we're gonna have an involved conversation, I'd much rather do so in a medium that doesn't involve typing with my thumbs. And this isn't limited to guys I barely know, either. As [personal profile] per_aspera_ad_astra will attest, even with my friends, if you send me a text that requires a more complicated response than "lol," I will probably not respond.

So, guys? Please stop texting me to ask how my day was. If you want to go out again, ASK ME OUT. As long as I can respond with "yes" or "no" - otherwise, I'll probably be ignoring you. :-P

(Of course, it helps that I really wasn't interested in seeing either of these guys again, so I'm not missing out on anything by not responding. If it was a guy I liked, I'd probably respond, even though it violates my principles, lol.)
next_to_normal: (Spike/Harmony punishment)
I had another underwhelming date this weekend. Technically, I was supposed to have two (one Saturday and one Sunday), but the second guy never got back to me on when and where he wanted to meet, so... I got my laundry done and watched a movie instead! :)

I've also been emailing with this new guy who is seriously the male version of me, it's kinda creepy. I am halfway convinced someone is just playing a practical joke on me, lol, that's how much we have in common. And of course - no picture, which always makes me suspicious.

But! The benefit of all this dating is that I have discovered I do indeed have standards beyond "wants to date me" and "doesn't kill puppies." I have, in fact, rejected numerous guys for not meeting said standards! 

Here they are... )
next_to_normal: (is ded)
1. Balanced the federal budget, without murdering any crazy libertarians (even though I really I wanted to)
2. Went on TWO dates (with the same guy)
3. Advocated for the arts (okay, I do that every day, but this was a whole organized thing)
4. Saw Kevin Spacey (and some guy from CSI? I dunno, I don't watch that show)
5. Boggled at the Hunger Games movie news (I am reserving judgment on the Peeta and Gale casting, but it's not what I expected. On the other hand, THIS - don't click if you don't want to know about the script - concerns me a bit)
6. Got $33 from selling books back to Amazon (yay!)
7. Decided that Chelsea must have one of these (I am partial to the one with the slide, though I'm curious whether the outdoor staircase could go down six floors...)

Is it just me, or does today feel like Friday? Maybe because this week has been endless. Unfortunately, it is only Wednesday.

Blurry pictures taken with my cell phone )

next_to_normal: (take this personally)
Why is it the short weeks always end up feeling the longest? I would like to stop being busy, plz. I had my Remicade treatment this morning and slept through practically the whole thing. Work days should always include naptimes, y/y?

Read more... )
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